Black Friday with Peter King.

Annoying Shopping Note of The Week:

Before a late flight to Greenbay on Saturday I decided to get up early and do a little Christmas shopping. I had noticed that Walmart was selling a DVD player for $6:50 and decided to get a few for the family and Brett.

The alarm went off at 4:45 am . Got out of bed quickly dressed and headed down stairs. As I headed out I noticed Mary Beth and the tight end were on the couch stretching. They must be headed out for early run I thought.

Stopped by to local 24 hour Starbucks and grabbed a venti egg nog latte with double whip cream-- $ 9.50 - what a country. It cost more to buy a latte then it does to buy a dvd player.

Pulled into the Walmart parking lot at 5:20. There was already a long line at the door which did not open till 6am. Got in line - the man in front of me had on his Nutley High School Football letter jacket. He had to be in his late 50's. Why does every one in Jersey still wear their letter jackets after they graduate.
By 5:40 the latte had run through me and I needed the bathroom. went to manager at door and said I'm Peter King I need to use the Mens room. The manager did not seem to recognize me and said I would have to wait. Good thing I had dark slacks on.

Finally the door opened at 6 am and there was a huge rush to the door. As I got inside I hear "Peter King what's up" It was Freddy Mitchel former receiver for the Eagles now the official greater for Walmart. I quickly said hi and told him I would see him on way out. I wanted to get a few of those DVD players before they were all gone.

Got to the electronics isle and noticed there was only one player left. A boy of 10 was pushing his grandmother in a wheel chair in direction of player. I needed that DVD more than she did. I stuck my foot out and tripped the boy and as he went down let go of the wheel chair and sent his grandmother careening into a candy cane display. Quickly grabbed the last DVD player and headed to check out.

 

You need some new material.

 

Tebow bless you Boom. this is funny as shit every year.

And this is still the most inspired thing anyone's ever written here:

 

Lighten up. It's a holiday tradition.

 

Made my morning.

 

I still think there should be a sequel.

 

Funny stuff, as are all the Peter King parodies.

I can't help but think they would be more effective as "Peter or Parody?" if Boom had an editor.

 

Aww hey Peter! I got my pad and pencil for your shopping list. Do you want me to go shopping for you Friday morning?

 

Bump, because to this day I wake up on Black Friday and remind myself to wear dark slacks.

 

Buy six for the family, PK. Your savings climb to $18!