Mariota or Winston?

If he turns out to suck in the NFL, as so many of these young QBs do, he's not going to actually earn anywhere near 75 to 100 million -- regardless of what the contract says.

Now, would I turn down a guaranteed $25-30MM? Probably not.

But I'd love to hear why he's "at least 5 years away" from the big leagues. He's been very good in one of the top college baseball leagues and throws in the mid-90s.

And as a bonus, he gets to keep all his brain tissue. What's not to like?

 

NFL GM: So, Jameis, whatcha been up to lately?
Winston: Oh, nothing. Just rape and stuff.

 

Winston has brain tissue?

 

The mid-90s? That's a big deal to you?

Almost everybody spends at least two years in the minors. And those are the guys who have dedicated their lives to learning how to pitch, not guys who have thrown a total of 60 innings in two years. He has a fastball, a fastball and a fastball. He isn't getting drafted in baseball this year or next, so that's two more years of college ... then two or three years in the minors. That's five years. And that's if everything works out perfectly.

Yours is the hottest of hot takes. I think this is exactly what the OP was looking for. Thanks!

 

Yup. You need oven mits to handle that take. That one will be pretty hard to top.

 

He has a third option - he could move to LA and go straight into porn. Start a new series: FHRITP #1, followed by #2, #3, etc.

Get paid for doing what you love.

 

Hey you're welcome.

 

Anyone who tries to predict the draft at this time of year is wasting his or her time.

 

NFL COMBINE INTERVIEWER: What are some of your off-field interests?
WINSTON: Video games, playing pinochle, rape, creative origami, classic films, rape....
NFL COMBINE INTERVIEWER: You said rape twice.
WINSTON:

 

Whoever believes he will not be among the first five players selected is smoking something. Just remember this: Of all Winston's troubles, none involved drugs or alcohol. And while no one but Winston and the accuser know what went on in that apartment, she didn't accuse him of hitting her, so there's another red flag that won't be flying for GMs and coaches. They will bank on this fact: the only time in his life that Winston shows any maturity and poise is on the football field, practice field, locker room and meeting rooms. They can assign him someone from their security to watch out for the rest.

 

I must have missed the part where he was convicted of something. Don't let that silly Bill of Rights get in the way of a good rant. As deplorable as he may seem, the legal system hasn't found him guilty of anything but the shoplifiting.

 

No. You just missed the part where I was simply poking fun at the "rape and stuff" mention earlier. Don't let silly, good-natured humor get in the way of a good rant.