ESPN's Britt McHenry is Not Nice....

BREAKING: Kevin James, Melissa McCarthy sign on to "Impound," a screwball comedy about a day in the life of a private tow company. James will play Moondoggie, the shmendrick tow truck driver, while McCarthy plays to type as the minimally educated white trash cashier. Expected Christmas release. Cameo by Erin Andrews as the Mean Girl.

 

Nah, the cop who found it should have driven it to his house, but only after taking it to a full-service car wash complete with new-car smell.

 

Or it could be "Paul Blart 3: Demoted to Impound" ...

 

Or maybe the local government, as a service to taxpayers, foots the bill to have the car towed and automatically held.

Damage is one thing, but giving my car to a third party who will ask for a substantial sum of money to return my property?

 

You're a fucking tool.

At 3 a.m. I'm going to haggle with a tow lot and an insurance company?

What world do you live in?

 

Why do you hate Jake from Allstate?

 

She's hideous.

 

Yes, that's what people are asking for here.

All I want is my car without shelling out $300.

 

OK, I have gathered the trolls for a circle jerk.

 

More importantly - the cop should have given Devil the option to have it towed somewhere else that is cheaper or better yet, if Devil's insurance has roadside assistance and he can get it towed for free.

But that will never happen because of the kickbacks from two companies to police departments and the big business that has become.

 

The "clearly marked" part is where it gets sketchy around here.

Most restaurants will let you know one way or another where you can or can't park.

But, my personal favorite is when you're in a zone where the road turns one way at certain times, and changes direction once a day, along with changing what constitutes "illegal parking." Same with the street sweepers, which don't always run on regular schedules.

The problem also comes when street parking, or even garage parking, is reserved for "residents" or "permit holders."

And, one sign says that applies 24/7, and another sign says it only applies on weekdays until 7 p.m.

Or another sign says that only applies to residential parkers, not business parkers.

Or, the high rises that house a billion people but have just three "visitor" spots, which you also need a permit for but can only obtain it by parking your car, walking to the office, getting the permit and then walking back, by which time your car will be gone.

Or you need a city permit, too, which you can only get if you pay property tax in the city you're trying to park in.

And so forth.

 

Well, she's a guy so ...

(Would hate to think what Britt would say to Jake.)