2015 Pro Wrestling Thread

I'm taking my sweet ass time to write a story, and for background noise I'm watching the Raw before the Invasion WWF vs. WCW/ECW pay-per-view from July (?) 2001. I remember this stuff so clearly. Bubba put Molly through a table. Paul E had hair ... well, the ponytail. Edge and Christian with long hair. Mike Awesome still alive. Jericho vs. Booker T, the WCW and US champion. DDP not yucking it up for his yoga DVDs. Perry Saturn is so concussed that he talks to a mop. Kane was still scary. Bra & Panties matches. Hardcore matches were actually hardcore. Talent could choke each other with the TV cables. Taker was a biker. Stone Cold's moral dilemma. Damn, I feel old.

 

So, after watching Stone Cold Steve Austin kill seven people via Stone Cold Stunner 15 years ago, I wondered if my dog's granddaddy dog or great-granddaddy dog sat with his master watching that very same Raw back in 2001.

I laughed for 10 minutes straight at the notion, prompting my wife to ask, "Are you high?"

No. It's just a funny thought that occurred to me.

 

Ha, I kind of liked the Rollins' segment at the beginning. It was oddly funny to see Kane get a trip to Hawaii. (It's too bad he didn't say "Yayyyy!" a bunch of times like on Crank Yankers though.) I thought for sure we were going to see someone put through the Cadillac, but maybe they want to milk that for a few weeks, or maybe it truly is just product placement.

I thought Raw was just OK though. Highlights for me were that promo at the beginning and the Cesaro-KO match, before it got broken up. There's been speculation on the ole web that they're going to take the NXT belt off KO because he's going to be on the main roster for now. It wouldn't be the worst thing if they just had Cesaro as a temporary champ and going back to NXT for a bit, since the main roster is kind of crowded with singles guys as is, and Kidd is extended out.

 

I haven't watched yet, but Jarrett winning TNA's King of the Mountain after all that's transpired between him and the company is like the most TNA / Russo thing ever. By that, I mean they probably thought it would be a shocking "the audience would never think we'd do this!" moment, except that they pull shit like this so often that the truly surprising thing would have been just a full card of clean finished.

 

There was definitely an attempt to channel a "Bischoff hugs Vince!", "Bret hugs Shawn!" vibe to it all.

The problem is, I can't think of a more overrated "star" in wrestling history than Jeff Jarrett. He's never been anything more than ordinary, both in the ring and on the mic. All the "shock value" in the world isn't going to make him any more interesting.

 

I kind of liked him when he came back to TNA for like the fifth or sixth time - I think it was his return after his feud with Angle, and after he had married Lady Angle. To steal a term from the Cheap Heat podcast, he's Triple H-adjace to me. He keeps getting put into favorable positions with companies because of his lineage and backstage roles, and while it's not a complete disaster like you hear with the Von Erich and Gagne sons, it also doesn't seem to move the needle much either. Like when you analyze individual booking decisions made with Triple H, it can make sense that he was booked to beat Punk, Jericho and others at the height of their smark popularity. When you look at the whole of his career though, you're like, "How the eff did this happen?"

 

I think Jarrett's deal with Russo to lay down for Hogan and then publicly fire him had a lot of potential if WCW hadn't been a full-fledged dumpster fire by then.

IIRC, Jarrett had already won and lost the title five or six times in the previous two months, which included the David Arquette debacle. By the time Bash at the Beach happened, I don't think anyone cared anymore.

 

At the very least, Jarrett has shown himself to be somewhat shrewd when it comes to booking. There is that old story / urban legend that WWE didn't realize his contract expired a day before his match at No Mercy, when he was supposed to drop the IC belt to Chyna. He allegedly got $300,000 for doing the honors, although he disputes that, and just said he worked the much at his regular rate and for some WWE stock options.

 

I thought the segment was pretty funny, but it certainly dragged. Didn't care for the product placement, either, but Rollins giving Kane a trip to Hawaii cracked me up.

Cena-Cesaro was a great match, even with the run-in at the end by Owens.

I don't know what the plans are going forward for the NXT title, especially seeing as Zayn and Itami are out hurt. I guess they'll have Owens drop it to Devitt at the July 4 show in Japan, but I could be wrong. I could see them keeping the belt on Owens until he beats Cena for the U.S. title.

For some reason, I do not remember any of that happening. I know Arquette was the champ at one point, but I had already sworn off WCW programming by then and was all WWE.

How the hell did they not know his contract was up? Holy smokes.

 

When they brought out the Cadillac, I seriously did expect Rollins to shout, "... a BRAND NEW CAR!!!"
They could've also brought Bob Barker back for a mini-feud.

 

I thought it would get destroyed when they brought it out, but then remembered Brock is on his way to Tokyo.

 

Who is Brock fighting in Tokyo?