Pearlman does preps

Had this passed along to me. This is a high school football gamer.

Simon leading man for Laguna Beach against Bolsa Grande

Thoughts?

 

With that talent, he can cost kids a gazillion scholarships.

 

It was more of an act of masturbation than an act of journalism.

 

Couldn't get past all the flowers in the first two grafs.

 

What the hell did I just read?
Was that a high school gamer, a condensed magazine story, a column ... what was that? It felt like he was trying to write an SI feature and then remembered, "Shit, I only have 30 minutes and 500 words. Wrap it up!"
Pearlman has obviously earned some street cred. I'm not belittling his writing. It just feels misplaced here. If that was Johnny RecentCollegeGrad's name on the byline instead of Jeff Pearlman, and any one of us were on the desk having to edit that, how many of us would groan, put our heads in our hands and say, "WHAT in the holy FUCK is this!?"

Also, this paragraph makes me think covering high school games is not going to be as romantic for Mr. Pearlman as he might have thought:

 

Did anyone think Jeff Pearlman was a good writer to begin with?

Well his bosses at SI, I guess. But they also employed Rick Reilly for 57 years.

 

That same paragraph could be written about Bolsa Grande every game.

 

I spent a lot of time as a kid playing in the waves at Bolsa Grande beach. Good times.

 

Yes.

But most importantly, he's dogged.

 

I would have to guess this is the first time in the history of newspapers that a person cooed in the first paragraph of a high school sports story.

 

Interesting days for some of the fellas in the coterie: Van Valkenburg teaching in Missoula ... Pearlman covering cooing coaches in SoCal ... MacGregor literary jitterbugging for Smithsonian Mag.

Not an indictment on any of them. Not busting balls either. Just observing.

All they're really doing is stepping out of their comfort zone though Pearlman would be comfortable using 500 words to wax poetic about the things you'd find on the side of a cereal box.

 

I dunno. Do some of those Poin Files stories count as sports?