Republican debate thread 9/16

Please don't get this thread locked, Starman.

We can do this. We can make it all the way through. I believe!

 

Maybe... but let's run through the crowd.

TRUMP: Has no real ideas beyond "you're stoopid!" Will never have the support of the party leadership and the big money players.
CARSON: Thinks prison rape is rock solid proof that being gay is a choice. Denies evolution, which not even the Pope is clinging to anymore. While being an extremely accomplished man, a huge percentage of the electorate will conclude he's nuts.
JEB: Just a godawful campaigner. Seems incredibly weak when he tries to assert himself, which is a really bad look.
FIORINA: If you are a CEO and are hated by both your stockholders and your employees, you're not doing a good job.
WALKER: "I hate unions" isn't enough. Gotta have something else. Anything. And kinda seems like a dick.
RUBIO: Seems like a nice enough fella. Makes zero impression.
HUCKABEE: Just the token religious zealot, doing the tour to keep his talk show on the air and his speaking fees livable.
KASICH: By many accounts, won the first debate. Came across as reasonable and highly qualified. Didn't even get a blip in the polls.
CHRISTIE: Is governor of New Jersey. Doesn't get to be the swaggering, tough-talking blowhard as long as Trump's in the race.
PAUL: The wind has just died in those sails. Not really a Republican, but plays one at election time.
CRUZ: Comes across as insufferably smug. Unless you're a tea partier he's just remarkably unlikeable.
SANTORUM: Hating gays doesn't play like it used to.
PATAKI: Seriously, I completely forgot he was in the race until I saw him onstage tonight. Just wasting his time.
JINDAL: Was an up and comer, but never arrived. Considered a joke in his home state, where he's never actually spotted.
GRAHAM: You know it kills him to be in the JV debate and look across the stage at Jindal, Pataki and Santorum as he thinks "I'm a US Senator! I'm a serious man!!" Seriously, I kind of admire that's he's holding tight to his fervent desire to re-launch a ground war, but it's wildly unpopular.

CLINTON: No one actually likes her. Her most fervent supporters like the idea of her, but don't actually like her. They also don't trust her. Plus, the email thing doesn't help.
SANDERS: Say the word "socialist" and 50% of the American public shits its pants.
BIDEN: Look, I actually love Joe Biden. But if he gets in the race he'll flame out in horrible fashion, because (a) he's just not up for it at this stage, and (b) he has a knack for saying just spectacularly stupid stuff.

 

Remember also Carson is a "devout" Seventh-Day Adventist, and therefore vehemently anti-Catholic.

 

As I told the wife tonight, the whole lot is just depressing. None is inspiring.

 

One of us should run for President. Who from sj world would have the best chance?

 

Doesn't Walker want to build a wall between you Yanks and us Canuckistanis? That should be enough to win him the anti-Rush vote.

 

Of course, inspiring doesn't necessarily mean you have any fucking idea what you're doing. But it would be nice to have someone to get excited about.

 

You jealous?

 

Feinian Bastard.

 

Did you just quote, and respond to, yourself?

 

Didn't feel like editing.

 

It's a presidential race made for the television age. Twenty candidates, and nothing's on.