Awful Halloween leads

Please post any awful Halloween leads here. I'll kick it off.

From the Tulsa World...

No. 14 Oklahoma at Kansas: Get analysis, photos, more from Sooners blowout of Kansas

 

That's the lede of the OU gamer in the Tulsa World? Jeeeeeesus.

 

The first few versions of the AP's World Series gamer were particularly brutal, too -- the Royals "startled" the Mets in the nut graf, not to mention that for Mets fans, it was a "scary ending."

Also, this: "Seemingly spooked by the raucous New York crowd early on Halloween, the Royals rallied..."

Hacking all that garbage out of there on deadline was a real "treat."

 

That's fucking awful. I didn't even mention Halloween in my story yesterday. Sometimes it's just better to ignore the obvious. Fuck Halloween and fuck Halloween leads.

 

I wrote this last year, and I don't hate it no matter what anyone says! OK, it's pretty cheesy, but my editor issued a challenge and I had to respond in kind:

The ghosts were out in full force for (high school team) on Halloween night. These specters of the past haunted the (slightly racist mascot) all evening and seemed to spook (high school team) into every mistake already made this season, with the end result being a dreary 49-21 loss to the (animal mascot).

 

Boo!

 

The only thing impressive here is the fact that you owned up to it. Other than that, it's still fucking horrible. We all learn the hard way. Trust me, I've written some real shit, too. Shit I'd never admit to now.

 

Had someone ask what I thought about his Halloween lede. Told him I hated it and to avoid them. He wrote it anyways...

"Saturday night might have been all hallows eve, but by 4 p.m., Podunk College had already been through a living nightmare."

 

Not only is that ultra****ed, but the part about "every mistake already made" also makes absolutely no sense.

Your editor sucks for letting that get into print.

 

Did you then ask him why he asked you what you thought if he was going with it anyway? Those conversations are always filled with logical nuggets.

 

Translation: "Isn't this cute? I love me!"

You were supposed to rub his tummy then.