Dear dimwit on the phone

There were actually two guys who called from the same number -- one young, one old. I wonder if it was a case of the apple not falling far from the tree. The younger one called to ask for clarification on NHL playoff reseeding, and then proceeded to tell me exactly what it was. When I confirmed that's what reseeding meant, he got mad, said "F--- you" and hung up on me.

 

Ah the yearly complaints because we didn't pick your kid for offensive player of the year because we're "homers" and "sad" (those were the subject lines for two emails sent by the father two days apart).

Both emails read like they were written by a drunk guy.

Example: I like to file complaint to the editor of miss treatment to this Athlete ..
I remember talking to u this before ..

 

We had a kid win defensive player of the year for the state. His uncle wrote us last night at 11:15 (45 minutes past deadline) with a picture of the player holding his little cousin with a subject line pointing out the kid was named Def. POTY.
Gee, thanks for the help.

 

Not a lot of dimwittery, but belongs here:

APSE

 

Dear high school AD,
YES it's ABSOLUTELY newsworthy that the girls basketball coach will miss tomorrow's opener because he was suspended by the high school association.

 

We got an upset grandfather because his grandson wasn't our punter of the year. Punter!

 

We have a longstanding policy that our players of the year are not included with the rest of the all-county team, and we pick players for either offense or defense. It opens up a spot for someone else, plus it's a little redundant and unnecessary since they get a story written about them and are spotlighted. On top of all that, so many players go both ways in high school that half the offense and defense would be the same guys.
Last year, our offensive player of the year played quarterback but was also a really good defensive back and punter. It was the second year in a row he was POY. A couple of days later his grandfather calls up irate because we didn't also make him all-county on defense. I tried to explain our policy to him, that we've never, ever done had guys on both teams, etc. He was insistent that we'd "disrespected" his grandson.
You can't argue with idiots, man.

 

Yeah, we do the same thing

 

Managing editor got an email from a guy nominating his kid for tennis player of the year. Tennis is only a spring sport here, so it doesn't start for at least four months. ME said to consider the kid a nominee. I'm not sure if he's serious or just fucking with us.

 

Thanks, Swim/Track Mom for completely butchering my name on your complaint e-mail. I've only covered two of your boys for six years now. Also, I really appreciate you pointing out that the paper doesn't cover your school's teams... except I do, more often than most, because they've been consistently good -- and I finally talked the coach into submitting results semi-consistently.

The real dimwit in this scenario is the boss, who didn't actually correct the error -- an incorrect bio of another kid from the same team -- but instead published the information she submitted about her own kid. Her kid wasn't supposed to be included, and, as she correctly noted in her follow-up e-mail, still isn't.

That's another issue she can bring up with the coach, who sent the other kid's name over. At the same time, she can ask why her son wasn't in the last set of meet results he submitted.

 

Oh, darn. I'm so sorry caller. Your voicemail cutoff before you could leave me your number to call you back regarding doing a story on the freshman girls basketball team. Darn. I so wanted to call you back, but I don't have a number for you. I'm dying to write about the freshman team on top of the multiple high school squads I already have to cover. [/bluefont]

 

Last week someone, it looked like one of the players, sent us a Facebook message asking if we were going to cover Podunk High's ninth-grade basketball game that night. This was right in the middle of a stretch when I'd worked every day for almost a month, and our other guy was working every night that week to give me some time off. The publisher asked if we were going to do it and told me to respond.
Didn't cover it and there was no real sense that the publisher actually wanted me to, I think he just wants to reply to readers, but it still sent a shiver down my spine. Kind of like when you narrowly miss being in a car wreck.