Powerball

Didn't realize Kaep's face was that light.

 

I like to work, but I'd quit any full-time job I had. I might work as a regular part-timer at some point, once I'd done whatever else I wanted to do for a while.

I wouldn't keep much (relatively) for myself, though I'd probably buy a slightly larger, newer and nicer condo than the 810-square-foot, 45-year-old one that I own now (and am close to paying off). I'd buy a new car -- probably a Mini Cooper, like I've wanted for a while, or, dare I say it, maybe just another Toyota Corolla (the one I drive now is 15 years old and has 273,000 miles on it, but it still runs fine and has given me no problems, so it's hard to ignore that, though it may be basic and boring, it's really a perfect-sized, functional, and well-functioning car, and I may just get another one).

I'd give at least a few million to my mom and a million or two to each of my siblings, and I'd keep a good chunk to buy/flip a house just because that's something I've always wanted to do. Likewise, I'd take a long cruise -- at least a month, and maybe two -- just to see how I liked it.

Beyond that, though, much of the money would go to missionary work and nature conservation. I'd like to go on a few trips, and/or become involved in some truly meaningful projects in this manner. Otherwise, I'd keep $2 million for my own savings/investing.

The rest would just be given away.

I literally can't imagine having that much money to be able to do so much good, and not doing it. And, generally speaking, I think it's a disgraceful waste that one person, or even a couple/few people, can, and do, regularly win so much money, without any effort required beyond buying a ticket.

 

I would still work, but not on salary for a publication. I'd just work on features I've always wanted to do but didn't have the time or resources, then try to get them published.

That's never going to happen, because I'm never going to buy a lottery ticket.

 

A gambler who refuses to play the lottery. Hoo boy.

 

I'd stand up to Sheldon Adelson.

 

I only play games I have a chance to win.

 

You have a chance to win the lottery. Not a good one.

But yeah. I gotcha. I don't play all that often. I'm one of the millions of rubes who only plays when the jackpot gets massive. I'm ok with it.

 

You're even less likely to win Powerball than you think

The odds may say that you're not going to win. But here are a few things that you're actually more likely to do:

• Have an IQ of 190 or greater (1 out of 107 million)
• Give birth to quadruplets, even without the help of fertility treatments - (1 in 729,000)
• Be killed by an asteroid strike (1 in 700,000)
• Being an American billionaire (1 in 575,097)
• Be killed by a lightning strike - (1 in 164,968)
• Die by drowning (1 in 1,113)
• Be struck by lightning, while drowning (1 in 183 million)

 

I thought about it some more overnight. I'd buy a LOT of guns. Some really serious military stuff. Maybe even a small warship. I'd form a militia. Oh, the fun we'll have!

I woke up this morning with a big hard on. Murica!

 

You could teach the dark-skinned savages about the Duggars.

 

If I had $675 million to burn last week, I would have been able to double it betting on the Northwestern-Maryland game. I don't really need a lottery ticket.

 

How much did you win on that game?