Powerball

$50

 

Seems low for as much of a lock as that game was.

 

I should have gone higher, I know. Next time I'm that sure about a game, I will.

I had that nagging voice inside my head. You know the one.

"What the fuck does Vegas know that I don't here?"

 

If I won something this high where the cash payout is over $400 million, one of the first things I would do is buy my paper and other surrounding ones. Yes, first I would follow what others have said and make sure most of it gets invested in conservative wealth management. But, say, $2 million would buy me a lot of these papers, I'm sure. I'd have fun running a chain. Doesn't need to make me any money, but hopefully I could break even.

 

About 24 hours after I won, I would begin to worry that something horrible was going to happen (to balance the good fortune of winning).

Every nagging pain would be, "Oh, shit, what if it's cancer???"

 

I'm sure this is an inaccurate generalization, but based on my memory of media coverage of past winners of super jackpots, the eventual winner of this one will be a nice older person or older couple from a smaller town somewhere. Their problems will start with drawing a new will.

 

For shits and giggles, just leave $2 for every person in the United States.

Would be like that scene from "The Jerk" where Navin Johnson writes millions of checks for $1.09.

 

I figure I'd get carjacked heading to the attorney's office with my ticket in the trunk in a series of fireproof boxes.

 

Winning this particular lottery is so far off the charts that my standard won-the-lottery fantasies aren't sufficient. Considering that the cash value on this thing's gonna be in the realm of $430 million, because I live in a no-income tax state my net would be close to $260 million. My wife and I could blow through our dream list entirely -- the beach house, the mountain house, the place in Italy -- and we'd have $250 million left over. We could then set up each of our three kids with a massive trust fund and still have $200 million in the bank. What would we do then?

 

Dr. Q, you'd be amazed at the number of unsolicited ideas you'd receive about what to do with it.

 

I know that my old high school baseball program would be playing in the Cadillac of high school baseball stadiums.

 

Fund a few chairs?