Dear dimwit on the phone

Yeah, there's ways around it and I'm largely just ranting at the idea behind this -- that our readers don't come to us for national and state stories, so why bother giving it to them? When, in reality, you're giving them every reason to go somewhere else by not giving it to them.

 

Wow, got yelled at by an angry granny today. Her grandson appeared in a file photo we ran a week ago as part of a feature. She lives in our market but he does not. She was FURIOUS that he was not identified in the photo - he was the "guy on defense" against the player in the feature - and that we had not quoted him in the story (that had nothing to do with him).

I let her vent, tried to explain that her grandson's team was out of our market, etc. Nothing really worked.

She told me she'd "had it" with our paper, eventually called me an "asshole" and hung up.

Scribbled her number down and checked - she put a permanent stop on our paper last August. I'm contemplating getting her a six-week gift subscription.

 

In this case, you're allowed to shoot the caller. Just this once.

 

No, in fact I'm going to write her a note and explain the things about which she wouldn't stop yelling long enough to listen.
I don't like interchanges like that but sometimes they can't be avoided.

 

Well, at least call it intercourse in your note. That oughta piss her panties.

 

I think I'd avoid this one. No good would come of it, except passing granny even further.

 

Dear North Podunk HS,

Please can you stop having JV scrubs working the scoreboard. They don't know how to work the shotclock. They don't know how to put the points on the scoreboard. In fact, the one who was keeping book awarded two points to the team just because. The other team actually caught it, but their book keeper was too much of a moron to actually call them on their shit. You're lucky those two points ended up not mattering. And this isn't the first time. Volleyball has the same problem. In fact, I worry about the level of education at this school. So please, please can you get someone who knows how to pay attention for longer duration than the time between receiving new Snap Chats.

 

Oh, I'm almost counting on that.

 

I had a woman recently call and ask how to get to Montreal. But she wouldn't tell me where she was starting from. Or if she was even traveling by car, bus, train, or air.

"I'm not queen of the world," she said. "I'm not flying there."

I said, OK, are you driving then? Where will you be heading from?

She said she didn't know.

OK then.

 

Ever have a caller call back to ask the exact same question even though you've already given the answer the first time? We had one person do that all the time and now we have two.

 

Start giving different answers the second time they call.

 

Covered a girls basketball game a few years back with a similar scorer. During one time out, the announcer, who had seen this act before, reached over and grabbed the book while she was taking a photo with her buds. He returned it after seeing a worried look on her face. Next game, there was a new scorer.