Pet peeves

When we used to watch that show, I'd always cringe when the N for Nudity box appeared at the very beginning because we all knew what that meant.

 

Non-bathroom trash in public bathroom trash cans.

I don't like seeing candy bar wrappers, empty chip bags and coffee cups mixed in with the paper towels. It makes me wonder if the products were consumed in there.

 

Porn where they show close ups of blow jobs.
Men who dye their hair.
And fat people at fast food restaurants.

 

yabb, WHAT?

 

Reading "everyday" when the writer means "every day." Makes me want to declare jihad, ululate and behead passersby.

Asshole in front of me, getting on a 70 mph highway yet can only work his 1992 Jetta up to 45 by the time he needs to merge.

Jackasses who park in the fire lane in front of a store while their cousin-wife runs into said store. Often right in front of a "Fire Lane: No Parking" sign.

Extremely loud public belching. Especially in a restaurant.

 

The H2 channel recently disappeared and became "VICELAND", which is apparently some millenial shit.

Now where in the hell will I be able to watch Ancient Aliens?

 

History programming that assiduously avoids the past tense in any narration.
"On the flank, ill-equipped Visigoth warriors are falling by the thousands, but they are holding the line."
I imagine douchebag 25-year-old producers thinking "the past tense isn't cool" or something, so everything has to be told in the present tense, to be more engaging to young audiences.

Injuring your thumb in a Babe Ruth league game in June 1990 and still having it bother me 25 1/2 years later.

Tim Allen. As funny as a genital wart.

 

giving me a receipt for anything unless I ask for it.

women who expect you to let them off the elevator first, even if it means turning the elevator car into a game of Twister.

The New Yorker's turn toward giving the Shouts and Murmurs space to established comedians or writers for well-known late-night programs instead of breaking in new talent.

The fucking DH, and fucking interleague play.

 

I've been observing this phenomenon in my building for almost 20 years. I don't blame the women as much as the men in their clumsy but insistent efforts to be courteous. First, I wonder if it's even necessary in 2016? Seems kind of patronizing, no? Nonetheless, I do this and other possibly outdated stuff like hold doors and whatnot, so I'm no one to talk. I even try to walk on the street side of the sidewalk because my great aunt told me I had to do that back in 1967. But, honestly, I prefer to be last off the elevator, even when it's full of other men.

Assuming you need to be chivalrous or whatever, it's not a problem when there are only 2-3 people on the elevator car, but it really gets silly with 8-10 people. Maybe men who feel compelled to let women off first in these situations should just get on first, so that women are nearer the door for exit???

Also, FWIW, I read somewhere that men should go first through revolving doors on the theory, I suppose, that the first one through provides much of the pushing effort.

 

I hate the word "patronizing".

 

Pushing from behind is fun, too.

 

Loud yawning.

We're all tired. Yawn quietly, douche.