Explain this to me like I'm a second-grader

There is also speculation that a Grand Jury has already been impaneled.

 

There is speculation that she was already arrested and ironically the record was classified.

 

Wouldn't surprise me.

 

There is speculation Scarlett Johannson will be waiting in my bedroom when I get home from the grocery store tonight.

Wouldn't surprise me.

 

There is speculation that not only has she already been arrested, but that she's already been convicted, and is currently in a secret prison somewhere in Alaska. The Hillary who was at Nancy Reagan's funeral was an imposter who was made to look exactly like her through many hours of plastic surgery, which is why she misspoke about the Reagans and AIDS. At least, that's what the speculation is. We don't know for sure, since all the information is classified.

 

And that's when you'd start doing your "furiously jacking off" gesture.

 

Legally it doesn’t matter if the emails were marked as classified or not, since government officials are obligated to recognize sensitive material and guard against its release. But legal experts noted that such labels would be helpful to prosecutors seeking to prove she knew the information was classified, a key element of the law.

 

And here is the money paragraph from that article:

Wannabe lawyers on the internet (not that I'm not one) love to google search laws and try to turn a case into a binary "yes or no, does what happened violate my semantic interpretation of that sentence?!" But that's not how the law works in practice. Context and prevailing practices are vital to determining what a court will do. They aren't going to convict Clinton for doing something that several of her predecessors did and many top officials throughout the government still do. And with no chance of a conviction, they aren't going to prosecute.

I expect a scathing report on the state of e-mail security in the executive branch, but anyone thinking this is going to end with even a recommendation for indictment is fooling themselves.

 

Santa Claus is coming to town ...

 

Experts see little chance of charges in Clinton email case

Maybe there's enough time for another Benghazi! investigation before the election?

 

There's still one going on. They'll pull an Ernie Banks and say "Let's investigate two!"