'American cities are booming - for rich young college grads without kids'

I'm not speaking for anyone. I'm speaking from experience, and that experience tells me you have no idea how parents and children work.

 

Haha, OK, dipshit.

 

I used to be concerned about my kids in public. Especially on the few times we took them on an airplane while they were toddlers. Back in the day, Southwest used to have a couple sets of seats in the back that faced each other. I tried very hard to get those seats so the kids had room to swing their legs without kicking the seat in front of them the whole trip.

When I took the kids to restaurants, I spent literally half the time in the bathrooms, changing diapers or waiting outside the stall. So they didn't have a whole lot of time to act up in the actual restaurant.

 

Some kids who act out in public are being assholes; some are not. It's not that simple.

 

It's almost like saying a 6-year-old isn't merely a shrunken-down adult with the same ability to regulate emotions and apply reason.

What a weird concept!

 

Jesus, ya might almost think that people are complicated animals. You're onto something, dude.

 

Not so complicated that you couldn't just sit a child down and explain to them how the world works while waiting for your nachos.

 

I wouldn't hire you to babysit a plate of nachos.

 

On the flip side of my general lack of giving a fuck, our son is in a phase where taking him to a restaurant is just asking for trouble, so we've been having dinner at Sonic a lot.

 

When my oldest (now 22) was in that stage right after being potty-trained, my wife and would jokingly refer to our occasional family dinners out as being on the "XXXXville Restaurant Bathroom Tour," because BY GOD no matter what the short one in our party was going to have to go to the bathroom.

 

The Whitman household is currently working through its annual decision on whether the youngest member of the family will be permitted to join us on our initial MLB game of the spring. Her prior two opportunities have ended in unmitigated failure.

 

We took our son to a minor-league game a couple years ago. He sat still for about four batters. After that, we chased him around the park for an hour and left.