Things that make you feel old

When you realize those college-aged women you're admiring will never notice your existence but don't mind taking a look at your son.

 

Corollary to that one, when your doctor and dentist announce their retirements and their young replacements take over.

 

I covered preps in my hometown for several years up until about 3 years ago. When I started covering the kids of people I went to high school with was quite a rite of passage.

Now some of those same people — including my stepsister, who is two weeks younger than me and got pregnant in high school — are starting to have grandkids.

 

The checkout clerk at a local thrift store gave me the senior discount, and made sure she told me she gave me the senior discount, without me asking the other day. My wife -- four years younger -- got quite the kick out of that.

Damnit, I'm not old enough to get the senior discount. (Although, I probably am. Just don't like admitting it.)

 

The moment when I found out my first serious love in college was now a grandmother was pretty intense.

 

My brother is a grandfather. He's only a year and a half older than me.

His grandson is a year older than my daughter.

 

I'd have no problem with it, though. When I get a senior discount, it'll make me feel old and I'll like it.

 

Or, you know, Hee Haw.

 

My sister last month became the first of our sibling group (there are four of us) to become a grandparent. She is younger than me.

 

My baby brother has 4 grandkids. He's 46.

 

OMG, that reminds me of the worst sign yet: When I finally joined the Facebook cult early this year, I looked up my college girlfriend and another girl I had a huge crush on back then. They both look like old ladies now.

 

My first high school girlfriend looks almost exactly like her mother did when we were going out. Probably shouldn't be all that surprising, but it was jarring the first time I saw a picture of her.