Are you of Davidic descent?

Depends on your VORG (Value Above Replacement Gentile).

 

That is, meaning no patrilineal descent. But that's to determine who is Jewish from birth. Anyone sincere and committed can convert, though it's not pushed and not simple.

 

Fixed.

 

You fixed Goy but not the fact that above doesn't start with an O?

 

I didn't pay attention to that part. Plus it wasn't funny.

 

Sorry that wasn't a Jewish enough response.

How about this: So sue me, nu?

 

So if a kid's father is Jewish and mother is gentile, how would the kid convert? Just by going to school and being bar/bat mitzvahed?

 

Same as anyone with no Jewish parent. There's a process. Bar mitzva is not part of it.

 

Really? That's the way it works? Interesting.

I don't know how old you are, but were you around for/do you remember that show thirtysomething? The main guy was Jewish and his wife was a gentile, and when they had their first son (their second child) his widowed mother's new squeeze (played by Alan King) arranged for a briss. That episode was fairly typical for the show -- tons of self-absorbed yuppie dialogue and existential angst* -- and there was a lot going on in it that I didn't pick up on. Still, in that episode the implication was that their deciding to have the briss at the appointed time was a decision as to whether this son would be Jewish.


*My paper's columnist said it was if the cast consisted of nothing other than Howard Sprague's children.

 

There'll never be a TV bris as good as this. Apparently, Jason Alexander loathed the way the mohel played his part.

 

So David was of the tribe of Judah, but is there any means for the average Jewish person to determine his or her tribe or tribes of descent?

 

I'm speaking for Orthodox Judaism, but yes.
I remember thirtysomething pretty well; Tuesdays were ABC all night (Who's the Boss, Growing Pains, Moonlighting & thirtysomething). Really liked it, but I think I gave it up when they killed Gary (spoiler alert!).
Don't remember the bris episode, but TV almost always does it poorly. I found the Seinfeld one incredibly unfunny and pretty offensive.By contrast, their venture into the world of Kosher food was certainly more clever.