President Trump: The NEW one and only politics thread

There not all bad.

I'm in my twenties, living in NYC. One night, my buddy lectures me. Tells me I can't talk politics with girls I'm talking up in bars, if I want to ever get laid.

Shortly thereafter, I meet a cute girl. Things are going well. I'm being charming, and not bringing up politics at all.

Out of nowhere, she asks me if I'm a Republican or Democrat. I see my chances of getting laid slip away as I answer Republican.

But, that was the right answer! We were together for seven years.

 

At least she was cute and not a 53-year-old albino hypnotherapist ...

 

That was the wrong answer.

 

My brother is a Rush-listening, Trump-voting, meat-eating Republican. His wife is a Women's-marching, Hillary-loving, vegetarian Democrat.

Guess who likes to bring up politics when the family gets together for dinner?

Me.

 

Along the lines of @doctorquant story...

I meet a cute girl while out at the Notre Dame/B.C. game, in South Bend. She's still at B.C., I'm a little older than college age.

We hit it off. Talk on the phone a few times. She says I should come up to B.C. the next weekend.

I'm not sure I'm going to go, and mention I'm looking to find a ride. She says I should call Todd, a guy I know who lives near me.

I ask how she knows Todd. They're dating.

WTF? Thank God I asked, or else I'd be telling Todd and his friend how excited I was to go see this cute girl I had met. Would have been bounced out of the car somewhere around New Haven.

 

#FakeNews

 

Married women? Have lots of those stories.

I'm working at a big company, and we have a meeting.

Cute girl I've never met attends. She has an Asian first name, Irish last name, and looks and speaks with a Spanish accent.

I'm intrigued, and ask her about it.

She's from Puerto Rico. Her mom just loved the name. And her husband is Irish.

We dated for about a year.

 

But did you save 15% on your car insurance by switching to Geico?

 

She went to BC!

 

That is one occasion during which you should be able to say whatever the hell you want. That was my approach when I spoke at my mother's funeral.

 

It's getting downright chummy in here. Somebody insult somebody.