Last night I dreamed that ...

A couple of unique ones.
Don't remember much of the first one, so I won't bore you with it, but the second one, I was playing basketball for the University of Michigan, and I went up and monkey punched one in a game against Scott Van Pelt playing for Maryland.

 

... I stabbed a guy to death because someone cleaned out my office and buried all my stuff in a deep hole. I also used my old supervisor's noggin as a speed bag, and he kept saying, "You haven't hurt me yet!"

 

Donald Trump walked into my cubicle and I said, "What's your next move, dildo?" and secret service grabbed me and I woke up.

 

It wasn't last night but not too long ago I had a dream that ended with me being chased through a kitchen by Harvey Korman in drag -- like in that old Carol Burnett Show sketch:



I don't remember anything else about it -- just that part. Damn frightening, though.

 

That's not a dream man. That's a bloody nightmare.

 

My last few years of being a CFB beat writer, when the grind was clearly getting to me, about three times a season I'd have a dream in which I was covering a game and it would be late in the fourth quarter and I knew nothing of what had happened to that point. I knew nothing and had no help and was freaking out because deadline for gamer, notes, etc. was fast approaching. No coincidence that when I quit the newspaper biz a few years ago those dreams stopped.

 

That's a spinoff of the old school dream, which a lot of people have. The day of the final you have no idea what the subject is, don't know where the textbook is, don't know what room it's in.

 

Never actually had that dream, maybe because I seldom cared that much about school.

 

I had a dream a little while ago in which Tommy Chong was a butcher. He had this beautiful stand, not a store, really... Just like this roadside stand with all this gorgeous meat on it. I asked for two steaks, and he cut them up, and he began to wrap them, and he told me that would be $250. I was like, That seems pretty steep for two steaks, Tommy. He unwrapped them and showed me how beautiful they were. They really did look good.

I woke up before I either bought them or didn't.

Tommy Chong had not entered my head for at least a decade prior to that dream. I have no idea where it came from. Memory is weird.

 

I've had similar dreams many times, but the problem has always been I was held up by traffic or something and arrived late.

Never had a school equivalent because I, too, didn't care enough. Proudly graduated with a 2.7 GPA after putting in minimal effort in gen eds. Time was spent much more wisely on building clips vs. learning rock names or writing a deconstructionist essay on a novel.

 

Another common one in my world... I keep trying to find a restroom that is accessible/working, with no luck. Invariably means I am about to wake up and need to dash to my real world pisser.

Don't want to find out what happens if I find a working one in dreamland

 

Some pretty young chef was wrapping her bare legs around mine for warmth while we waited for the power to come back on in her new, struggling restaurant. Alas 'twas just a dream. (And I woke up freezing to boot)