A Tipping Question

Who said you have to grovel? "Hey, thanks for everything you did for us the other night. I probably should have tipped more. Here's another $20 for making things right."

Why are you playing up the "aggrieved customer" act when they took a "potentially disastrous experience" and rallied in the end? That's good restaurant management. They did everything by the book to satisfy you in the end, and at that point you show your gratitude while still getting a huge discount. You don't find that in many restaurants.

 

I did thank them for rebounding nicely. Just not financially. With nice, cheap words.

 

Oh, they'll remember that, too. "Hey, everyone, $10 Bob is back!"

 

It's groveling because I'm being told I should go back and apologize, and make a peace offering to the waitering community.

And the "aggrieved" customer comment was more about the situation in general. Frankly, I was in a good mood and wasn't even that mad about the whole thing. We didn't raise a fuss or turn into customers from hell. We took the whole thing in stride. Considering we made their night a hell of a lot easier on that front, that should count for something. Obviously, that's not the case. It's all about the Jacksons.

 

Was this your first time dining out?

 

Plus, if you're the waiter, how do you receive that extra $20?
Is the attitude, "Oh wow, thank you! That's nice of you to take the extra effort and come all the way out here to drop it off."
Or is it, "Damn right, motherfucker."

 

Nobody suggested you drive across town right this minute -- in fact, you're the only one here who knows if the restaurant is across town from you or walking distance.
Also, you posted this anecdote yesterday and wrote about a "dinner with the wife tonight." So this "couple of days after the fact" is also a detail that only you know, or are getting worked up over.
But yeah, $10 on a free meal worth $65, plus extras that weren't even charged, at an upscale restaurant you like, where the wait staff did its best to appease you, is cheap and embarrassing. Since you asked. There are ways to rectify it, if you want.

 

Any decent waiter would say, "Oh, that's very nice of you. Thank you."
They presumably wouldn't know where you live, or how much effort it took you to get there, but they would likely remember you from that night because, again presumably, the kitchen doesn't mess up that often or customers wouldn't keep returning.

 

Just drop a $20 in the mail, inside a sheet of paper.

"To the crew from Saturday night 3/18, even after our chili Mac and chicken fingers weren't correct, I wanted to make sure the server from that night got this extra tip for her service. Please make sure he/she gets it on her next shift. Thank you."

No groveling. Don't even put a return address on it if you don't want it. It'll get there.

I usually tip 30% (but I don't tip on takeout or at coffeeshops). With a somewhat visible job, it's the best money I spend.

Yet for five years in college, I lived off tips. Those made up 70-80% of my income. I'm fortunate in that, to me, an extra $5 or $10 on a meal doesn't wreck my wallet but for a server, that can really help.

 

Obviously, we need to establish an SJ Hotline 800 number for emergency advice.

 

I'll add it to the list of commonly-said things I had no idea had become incredibly offensive in the last 20 minutes.
I know that sounds flippant, but seriously, I have never once in my life until today heard anyone say that that sort of reference was offensive. There's a whole rant to go on there, but that's probably best saved for a different thread.

I agree completely. I actually told the waiter that as we were getting ready to leave. Just last week we went to a restaurant across the street from this one. The service was bad enough that I strongly considered leaving the dreaded "11-cent tip." I left $5.11, but we won't be going back there any time soon. The restaurant we went to last night, we'll definitely be back.
I guess what I'm getting bent out of shape about is everybody crawling up my ass on here and calling me "cheap" and "embarrassing" when:
1) I've conceded that I probably should've left more
2) I've said I'll make it up to them the next time we go there
3) I've said I'm usually a very good tipper. In this one case I did some bad math and didn't leave quite as much as I should have, and several posters are acting like I stood up and took a dump on the table in front of the waiter, then pissed on their shoes and spit in their face to make sure they got the hint. It hit a nerve.