I'm not Chef

So today, I had my big toe(nail) removed (by a doctor)....

Five years ago, umpiring baseball, got hit directly in the nail/toe by an untouched fastball. Even with steel toed shoes, the pain was great. The nail then got all gnarly and eventually started regrowing with a big curve to the right.

It started impinging my other toes recently and this was the solution. They removed it (with a local) and it will grow back. If it does so normally, all good. If not, they'll permanently remove the nail (not the toe) in 6-8 months.

So how am I not Chef.... I have my toe, I relied on a Dr. and I had in numbed...

 

YOU are numb.
Unlike Chef, you a numb to life and the endless possibility for adventure.

 

I pulled my big toenail clean off one night by slamming it into a piece of furniture. I went to the hospital but all they did was clean up the blood and write me a script; it grew back, and faster than I expected (about 8 months).

 

As always, Buck speaks the truth.

 

I'm really waiting for Chef to appear on this thread. Please make it EPIC.

 

Getting a response from the legend himself was the goal....

 

Paging @Chef2. Chef2 to the white courtesy phone...

 

I'd like to see photos of yours and Chef's toes.

 

Oh, there were photos being posted one night, long ago.

 

An untouched fastball hit you directly on your foot? You should've kicked the catcher in the nads.

 

Yes, I should have, but I didn't. And while I thought about pulling out the cell phone for a selfie... I chose against it.

 

I weep for your future.
Alright you giant pussy.
First of all, jericho is right. You take your other foot, kick your catcher in the ass and say "Hey you little nipple nibbler, the next ball that touches me back here, you won't see the field again. You have one job to do. CATCH THE FUCKING BALL."
Second of all. You could have just as easily went to the liquor store, get a medium-sized bottle of Jack. Go to a local grocery store, get some peroxide, cotton balls......get your toe nail clippers.......(first down the Jack, cause this bitch will hurt.)
Get the toe nice and soft, and go to town. Just take the whole son of a bitch off. (The nail.....not the whole toe.) There will be blood......Oh yes....there will be blood.... You don't need no damn doctor for that. What rubbish.
Let the toe get air for a while. Wear flip flops for a couple days......thank me later........OH WAIT......YOU ALREADY TOOK YOUR CANDY-ASSED CARCAS TO A DOCTOR TO DO WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU!.....What flavor of sucker did they give you when you were done?.......
I hope the doctor walked in, took one look at you, slapped his nurse, walked out and made some 20 year old flunky do it.
For shame.