Alcoholic Wife. The breaking point.

I don't know how viable it is, but it seems like you and the kids should no longer share a roof with her. There's too many bad outcomes for it to remain a viable situation.

As journalists, we've all printed (or aired) the bad outcomes. I've been through some of the (lesser) bad outcomes myself - see Batman's post above. Take no chances, man. I mean it. Your kids are too important.

Change the locks and kick her out. Failing that, stay with relatives, a hotel, a rental ... put some physical distance between you and her. You don't need any more evidence at this point. Nothing good comes from staying under the same roof anymore.

 

Out of curiosity, how are you documenting her liquor inventory? I literally had to take a picture of a newspaper (date visible) with my phone (not a watch) displaying the time next to it and the alcohol in view, and even that, realistically had very little impact on my case.

The drug/alcohol testing were the only things that really mattered in the end.

 

Not sure if they need to quote what she said during her rage, but would think it should be documented by medical staff that was intoxicated or at least under the influence if they don't test her BAC.

 

Would anything she said in the ER be admissable as evidence? Seems like doctor-patient privilege might apply. Or is that only applicable in criminal cases?

 

At this point the chart is static. If it wasn't documented at the time, you're not going to get it in. Her chart is a legal document, you can't alter or add to it. You'll get gutted in court if so. OTOH, if they sent her to Psych, it's in her chart. The only question is how extensive the quotes were, what made it in and what didn't get written down. Privilege might apply, but I'd bet that in a divorce case where the safety of the children is being considered, the judge would rule it admissible. If they pulled a blood alcohol level on her, that's going to be in the lab section of the chart already.

A lot of this is going to depend on the nurse who was on duty. Some take very extensive notes in a case like this, others just the bare minimum to establish what was going on. In a general CYA sense, most will have pretty good notes to document why a patient was sent to the Psych ward, why she was restrained, etc. Most likely that she was either combative with the staff or she tried to hurt herself, yank out the IV, something like that, and again, it's going to be in the chart.

 

I absolutely concur. You have reason to fear for the safety of yourself and your kids. She should not be welcomed back. Restraining order time.

 

Thanks as always, SJ crew. I do feel this is one of the few places I can vent.

I'm not leaving the house for any reason. As the father in a divorce case, I will NOT leave. Not for one night in a hotel. Nothing that shows I have less than 100 percent commitment.

Once the divorce is finalized and custody is worked out, I'll look into a new place between our house and their kids' school. But, for now, I am fully entrenched.

 

NC-

Thanks for telling me about your son and his battle. Stay strong, both of you.

 

That's a risk, no doubt. Where I am fortunate is that, except for the morning hours when the house is asleep (or passed out), I'm always home when the kids are.

Found my Al Anon meetings in town. Time to go to one.

 

You are begging for trouble with a stance like this.

 

All the best ex.

 

Certainly, ex. I've got plenty of horror stories, it just didn't seem to be the time to trot them out. Good luck with Al-Anon. Go to a few meetings and you'll get get a sense of what they're doing. I wasn't kidding about trying several different meetings. Generally each group has a core of old veterans with a lot of time in, and to some degree the atmosphere reflects them. I was very lucky and found a meeting that was extremely comfortable, where once I'd been there a bit and got to know people a little I identified several old heads I could look at and think "I don't know what they've got, but I want it very badly". Their tranquility and inner peace was almost a visible aura. The meetings are all much the same in structure, you can go to one anywhere and be comfortable. I suppose that I'm really talking about the people and personalities involved in a given group and how they strike you.

The other side of that is that it seems that at every meeting that I go to someone says something that I find very useful, in some cases profoundly so. Several times that has come from someone that I was dismissive of - the old lady who blathers on and on and is annoying as hell after many meetings listening to her can say something that rings so true and clear that it is like someone tapped a musical triangle, it chimes so clearly.

Good luck with it. If you need to talk, hit me up, I'd be happy to do whatever I can to help.

Re "not leaving the house for any reason", touch base with your lawyer. There may be legitimate tactical reasons for that stance, but do not underestimate the potential for her to do something very unexpected. When someone sees the ground rushing up at them as they are about to hit bottom, the potential for truly irrational behavior increases. Do be careful.