Running 2017 MLB regular season thread

Joke No. 1: Please clap.
Joke No. 2: Ugly home run sculpture to be turned into exclamation point. Jeb!
Joke No. 3: Sammy Sosa, skip needs to see you.

 

Sam Dyson has lost his closer job three games in.

Walks three and gives up a grand slam in the ninth. On top of giving up three in the ninth in the opener.

 

But the big question: Does Manky need a new wardrobe?

 

Bartolo Colon is not the hero the Braves deserve, but he is the hero the Braves need.

 

Yeah, I think I'll hold off on believing this until I hear this from someone with more than 500 followers....

 

Leave it to the Reds to start a rookie pitcher named Rookie who already has male pattern baldness. (And who already served up a first-inning meatball.)

 

Braves sign Ryan Howard.

 

Should give them a much better chance of winning the 2008 World Series.

 

What a horrific contract the Phillies gave him.

 

So if you want to promo all the Reds, Cavs, Jackets and Crew games you'll be showing with the theme "April in the O-H-I-O", maybe don't make your background shot the other river bank, which is Kentucky.

 

Reds pitcher Michael Lorenzen just hit a pinch-hit HR.

 

Like the Reds don't have enough woes:
Reds Prospect Posts Videos of Himself Doing Cocaine and Smoking Weed on Snapchat