What is the point of a "camper"?

My cousin fancies herself a big camper. She posts the pictures from her campground - it looks like they are staying in a rolling five-star hotel.

WTF? Pitch a tent and crack a beer, people. What the hell is the point, otherwise?

 

"Camping is a tradition in my family."

"Well, it was a tradition in everyone's family until we came up with the house."

-- Jim Gaffigan

 

I camped one night along the Delaware River with a few friends about 30 years ago. The fire never got going very well in the rain shower, so we ended up eating wildly under-cooked steaks, and the clothing that got wet when tipped over the canoe didn't thoroughly dry overnight on the makeshift clothes line. Plus, I didn't sleep very well in the sleeping bag. I don't get the attraction.

 

The attraction is not being a huge pussy.

 

Comfort, simple. All the joys of the outdoors and dry and comfortable at night.

 

My point isn't about camping in general, though. I mean, if you want to spend your life walled off in your air conditioning, be my guest.

But if you're going to camp, fucking camp.

That's all I'm saying.

 

You can buy a fire pit at Wal-Mart. Stick it in your backyard and spare yourself the drive.

 

Ever tent-camped in the summer in the deep South, Dick? Give 'er a go sometime and I think you'll see what a camper's good for.

 

So camping is good for people with self-esteem issues? Isn't it easier to go buy a pickup truck with big tires?

 

Sure, then you can't hike, fish, swim or whatever else you want to do during the day.

 

Yeah, I guess.

The friends who go with us to the Indy 500 flat-out refuse to camp at the track the night before. They'll come out on Saturday night, cook out and toss beanbags for a couple hours, then head out back to the one guy's house to sleep in comfort and shower in the morning. Seems like a huge hassle to me just to avoid sleeping in a tent, which, for whatever reason, a lot of people seem to have an aversion to.

 

Oftentimes the camper isn't for the person who likes camping. I don't have a camper, but I'd like one ... because I'd like for MommaQuant to come along sometime.