So I'm getting out of the rat race

As some of you might know from time spent here, I got out of the business a few years ago to go law school. I managed to get into a well-regarded school, perform well, and from there land a position at a prestigious international firm located in a big city. The law equivalent to a "major metro," except the pay is far better.

Anyway, it's been an interesting few years. We've managed to buy a nice house in a nice town and at least start to build up a retirement nest egg. I come to this little dive to escape when things are slow - and even when they aren't - but the truth is that it can be a hellish job. You get detailed reviews from every single person you've worked for twice a year. These aren't fun. The model is "up and out," meaning that if they don't consider you partner material, you're eventually shown the door. So you are constantly acutely aware of your tenuous status. You are apt, where I worked, to have nothing to do for a few days, then get an out-of-the-blue 9 p.m. email demanding something delivered by 7 a.m. You navigate layers and layers and layers of bureacracy. Last summer, I worked consecutive 90-hour weeks and a 325-hour month. I canceled at least three major weekend plans on Friday afternoons. It's grueling and the work itself is mostly tedious. (My big firm actually has the reputation as one of the humane ones, and I can see that.) Oh, and I spent probably two and a half hours a day commuting: Car --> Train --> Walk.

Well, last week I put in my two weeks' notice, and I'm going to work at a small law firm about a five minute's drive from my house. I will probably make 1/2 to 2/3 what I make now. Hopefully we will be able to keep the house. I think we should be OK. We're going to have to budget tighter, but we'll still be doing better than 99 percent of the human population.

Basically, I decided that I could try to squeeze every red cent from my law degree or I could see my kids grow up, but it was going to be hard to do both. So I'm dropping out of the pursuit of prestige and money at all costs to try to simply enjoy myself practicing law somewhere most of my striver co-workers could not fathom, and having a life. Maybe start work on that long-planned novel. It's law, so it will still be challenging and, at times, time-consuming. But it's not "biglaw," and I have largely come to reject the "lean in" premise that You Can Have It All.

This isn't to recount the Fabulous Life of Dick Whitman. It's not very fabulous. But there is a lot of chatter on here about both careers and family, and a lot of mud-slinging about what people choose to do with their time and lives. So this was my recent decision. I thought I'd share it. We'll see how it works out. But I know that people on here constantly grapple with career, financial, and work-life balance questions. Here's another data point.

 

I guess a comparison would be going from the MLB beat at a paper to the preps beat. A hotshot 25-year-old probably couldn't imagine how you could possibly make that decision. But you get older, your priorities really do change drastically.

 

You'll never find yourself on your deathbed wishing you spent less time with your kids.

Good for you, and best of luck.

 

Congrats. It really is a form of what everyone wishes they could do -- stick it to the man and go off to do what you want.

And now you'll have even more less time to post here.

 

My oldest actually sprinted over and gave me a running hug and said, "Thanks, Dad. Thanks for getting your new job" when I told him I would see him now in the morning before school. I have been leaving at 6 and getting home at 6:30-7 at the earliest for several years.

 

True, unless you're Jose and Kitty Menendez.

 

Anyway, I won't belabor my side of things. But in the past I think I've advocated that people should really go for the brass ring, full speed ahead. As I've revised that thinking, it merited a post.

 

You're making the right decision. I'm married to an attorney who started out in politics as a fundraiser, worked her way up that ladder, went to law school and then worked at firms in large markets, making more money than I could ever fathom. But we've chosen the quieter, less lucrative life out in the sticks of Indiana. I left a higher-paying (but still low-level) reporting job for a really low-rung gig in a tiny outfit (I was ironically inspired by another Dick Whitman wanting to leave the headaches of New York for California and a one-desk office on a certain TV show). We only regret it when the student loan bills for law school come in the mail. Otherwise, it's rewarding for her to build the practice she wants. I'm like a one-man band in a three-person office, doing the writing and lay-out I love. And we see each other every night. For hours. Without migraine headaches or the urge to be three drinks in by 8 p.m.

This whole thing is way too short to be eaten up completely by a job. It just flies by.

 

5-inning Dick will be a tamer Dick?

 

It is really awkward to explain to the strivers I work for.

"I want to spend more time with my family."

They don't spend time with their families!

The commute thing is the easy sell, though.

 

That's a brutal schedule, good on you. I have my daughter 50/50, but I don't get home till 715 at the earliest, so she has aftercare and a babysitter to bridge the time till I get home. Asks me all the time when I'm gonna get a job closer to home. That kills me. Been at this job almost four years and can't do this commute -- 90 minutes on train each way -- for much longer.