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Virginia Shooting Somehow Proves What Every Single American Has Been Saying All Along

WASHINGTON—In the wake of this morning’s mass shooting in Alexandria, VA, every single American from across the political spectrum was reportedly able to cite the tragedy as irrefutable proof that they had been right about everything all along. “I’ve always said gun control puts our citizens at risk and makes them sitting ducks for any criminal who doesn’t play by the rules, and today, sadly, all my fears were confirmed,” said conservative Paula Frazier of Willoughby, OH, one of the hundreds of millions of Americans who said it gave them no pleasure at all to have their long-held beliefs so thoroughly validated. Added liberal Marc Watson of Savannah, GA: “When any unhinged maniac can just waltz into a store or gun show and buy a weapon specifically designed for mass casualties, this is unfortunately what happens—exactly like I’ve said from the very beginning.” At press time, every American was dejected at the thought of how soon they would be proven absolutely right once again.

 

A mistake made by journalists all the time.

"Stable" is not a condition. It's a clarification of a condition.

You can be "critical but stable", and you can also be "critical and going downhill fast."

 

They have to vote on denouncing, eh?

 

Maybe not all of them, but if 50 of them are in a public place outdoors where some loony has a sight line, then maybe they should post a couple guys, whether or not the vice-whip or whomever is around.

 

Uh oh:

Special counsel is investigating Trump for possible obstruction of justice, officials say

 

@apurposefulwife will be ticked.

 

Ok. Wait until he's out of danger.

 

Hell of an evening for a bigly news dump by WaPo.

All together now class: "It's not the crime, it's the cover up."

 

Who could have possible predicted this other than everyone?

 

And on his birthday, too! I wonder if he's having the most beautiful chocolate cake or two scoops of ice cream. Or both.

 

It was actually a good day for Trump before this news dropped, all things considered. He looked and sounded presidential in addressing the shootings, and didn't tweet anything incendiary for once.

 

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