Things that irk you......

Someone's going to post it eventually, might as well be me.

 

We always stopped at a farm stand on the way home from the Jersey shore when I was growing up.

 

Growing up when I thought of Jersey I thought of crowded, seedy North Jersey cities and swamps. That is was called the Garden State seemed like a joke.

Then I married a Monmouth County girl and the produce her dad grows in the backyard is amazing.

 

That's the general image of New Jersey. "The Turnpike Belt," which stretches for about 20 miles on either side of the Turnpike and is mostly industry, suburbs, strip malls and concrete. Or the "Jersey Shore" stereotype.
Get away from that, and it quickly becomes pretty rural. You can go north and be in woods and mountains, or drive south and see nothing but farms and countryside. I grew up in Trenton, on South Broad Street smack dab in the middle of the city (or Township, as it were). I could get in the car and drive about 15 minutes and be staring at cornfields.
It's really a weird state that way. For a small place, there's almost every type of terrain you can think of.

 

Consider yourself profusely thanked.

 

I went to great lengths to type that true story up, and none of you buttheads even gave me a "like" for it.

 

The thing that irks Florida Man is when the phone company truck parks in front of his house.

Hialeah man shoots out tires of AT&T truck outside home

 

Fuckin' trucks should stop threatenin' him and eatin' Skittles and shit.

 

Here’s an Abbreviated List of Everything Anthony Bourdain Hates

5. Clowns: “I'm sure I'm not alone here. Were clowns ever funny? No. Of course not. They were always sinister figures, disguising their homicidal intentions under thick make-up, all the while their crawl spaces and chest freezers were brimming with Cub Scout parts."

10. Kobe sliders: “I’m waiting to see the end of the Kobe slider. I’d be really happy to see that gone. The Kobe slider is an indication of a douche economy that’s threatening to me personally. It’s like bottle service at the nightclub; it’s a societal ill. It’s a clear example of nothing being added to the slider experience by using Kobe beef other than the price. No one who orders a Kobe slider wants the unctuous, fatty experience of ordering a Kobe steak. What they want is bragging rights in front of their princes of douchedom around them so they can all high five. It’s part of the ‘bro’ culture I find troubling.”

14. Karaoke: “Singing in public in general ... Like anything shameful, I prefer to do it in private. Karaoke should only be performed with people who have already seen your genitals.”

 

He was a lot more fun when he was on coke

 

Who isn't?

 

True dat. Stay on the marching powder and leave karaoke alone