Things that irk you......

If you can't fart in the men's room, we're lost as a society.

 

But there should be some etiquette or protocol about it, no?

I mean, you come in, holding one in, and there's only one guy already at the urinals, probably close to finishing up. Do you go stand by him and immediately blast, or give him a chance to get to the sink or maybe out the door?

Guy at work, yeah WES, I'm talking about you WES, is a walking ticking fart bomb as he approaches a urinal. Without fail, like clockwork, within ten seconds. Loud. I'm hoping he shits himself someday.

 

I expect this to be a significant plank in the Dems' 2020 campaign platform.

 

You can print this out and carry it with you. Refer to it if you forget, like a cheat sheet.

 

It irks me because I always thought I should have had a better career, (although some people can't believe how good a career I ended up having).
And it makes me feel old.

 

When you peak at 10, life is downhill for a lonnnnnnng time.

 

The concept of a Wendy's food truck, as shown on Fox's pregame show just now.

Oh look, it's like a Wendy's except with even longer lines and more questionable sanitation!

 

Do older people smell worse? I mean, can you smell "old"?

 

Yes. Very yes. I don't know how to describe the smell but it is inescapable.

 

Sonic carhops who decide you can eat chili cheese tots with no fork.

 

I doubt it would stop you.
Especially if a tit is involved.

 

"a tit"?

As in a single tit?