The Case for Bad Coffee

I haven't had a microwave for more than a year now. I don't really miss it.

 

I frequently pour a cup of coffee and promptly forget it's there for a few hours. I'm not wasting that shit.

The cup in front of me now was poured at 6:45 this morning. Just microwaved it for a minute and it's fine.

 

This is my last straw with you.

 

What about pouring freshly brewed coffee into the old cold coffee to freshen it up? Is that allowable?

 

Softening ice cream? Get in the gym, you pencil neck! Ice cream shouldn't be softened. The firmer, the better. Otherwise, just have a glass of milk before mommy tucks you in for nighty-night.

 

One of the gifts we gave players at one of our championships earlier this year was a tall Yeti coffee mug. I make a morning cup before work at 7:30 and it stays piping hot until I'm done with it at 10 or so. Best damn thing we've given out this year.

 

Off topic, but I feel obligated to Like any The Big Lebowski reference. It's become a chore, really. If I were a weaker man, I'd nuke and start over with a different handle. The crosses I bear, I guess...

 

Where I work, coffee is available all time time, and we use a cold liquid concentrate -- essentially an overly saturated cold brew -- dispensed automatically from a machine. Two teaspoons for every 12 ounces of water, 300 cups per box.

Great coffee? No. But every cup tastes the same as the last and there is no waste. And other than cleaning it and occasionally changing the box, I never have to think about it.

The downside: The dispensers have the name emblazoned on the face. FOLGERS.

 

Shut the fuck up, Donny.

 

I don't even like coffee, and yet I read this whole thread. Shit.

 

Lots of bad coffee will help you do that, too.