Louis CK

Only a misogynist would think that ...

 

The entire legal concepts of “consent” and “sexual misconduct” are vague and frustrating. It’s the nature of accusations like this.

Clarifying and standardizing those two concepts would help tremendously, both for victims coming forward and men trying to feign ignorance.

 

Google search tag to the New Yorker's Louis C.K. follow:

Emily Nussbaum writes about recent allegations in the New York Times of sexual assault from the comedian Louis C.K.

 

They did see him as an authority figure. I believe that. It was a bad thing he did, inviting those women back to his hotel room, taking his clothes off and doing that. Who does that?

As the boring ol Christian, I can't look at the Bible and not think it's fairly clear, from the beginning, that men are the authority between the two sexes and they abuse that authority, sexually and otherwise, all the time. Men have a greater responsibility than women to prevent harassment, assault and rape. Now, IMO, this responsibility tends to include suggesting things that women probably don't want to hear - like, you'd be smart not to drink anything but water at a frat party - but so it goes.

Men have to do better regardless of whether women ever acknowledge men are doing better with it. Men need to try to have professional relationships with women - that aren't personal, flirty friendships but allied partnerships - regardless of whether women seem "up for it" themselves. If there's anything that's coming out of the #metoo movement, it's this: Women haven't been telling the whole truth - or even half of it - about the way men's behavior made them feel all these years, and will go along with things they don't want to do because they feel they have no choice. Some may blame them for not being forthcoming, but I don't: Again, my sense and my faith tells me that's all pretty understandable.

 

They didn't say that.

How do we know it was a "bad thing"? We don't know if they consented. The reporter didn't ask.

This seems like you just think men should be more chivalrous about hitting on women. Maybe they should. But whether a particular individual didn't meet your standard for chivalry doesn't seem to me a topic for a New York Times story announcing "sexual misconduct."

 

There's a lot in this story, as well in the Weinstein and Toback stories, that offend and mystify me.

Mainly, I don't see how these encounters would be satisfying. They mostly sound humiliating for all involved.

Can I masturbate in front of you?

Even if I wanted to do this, I can't see myself asking the question. Women are creeped out by these guys, and find their behavior gross.

My goal has always been to get women to want to fuck me. Now, granted, my success rate hasn't always been great, but when successful, it's a lot more satisfying than what is described in any of these stories.

But, here's my real question...

When a guy like Weinstein or Louis CK whips put their dick and masturbates on the spur of the moment, are they just rubbing one out dry? That doesn't sound remotely enjoyable either, even if I had consent.

 

Just so we’re clear, it’s not OK to ask someone to do something kinda gross and kinky in our private lives if the asking party happens to be more famous than the other person?

 

Well, as a Christian, I wouldn't embrace it as a "personal standard." It's not my personal opinion. It's what I think is true. And so when I say I believe those women saw CK as an authority, I am suggesting that would be universally true even if they said they didn't. That's where Christianity rightly earns the criticism of being paternalistic. It is. I believe the world is oriented as such - which, at least in worldly terms, troubles me, but is nonetheless, I believe, true.

 

Something tells me that this isn't how the New York Times was thinking about this.

 

If you're in a position to influence their career meaningfully and everything has been completely platonic to that point, correct, it is not ok.

 

How about asking someone out on a date?

 

Same as the racism issue, you'll never hear me call someone "a misogynist." The world isn't made of people with scarlet M's branded on their souls, hidden from the rest of us.

Society is misogynist and it has shaped all of our beliefs and norms.