No Idiots Allowed Fantasy League

Would be cool to get a win and some help to get the bye with Poopholes. What a sentence.

 

Things I don't want to see today: the RZ red box next to Tucker's name. I need 40- and 50-yarders ... stop driving so deep, Flacco!

 

2017 NIAFL Football Playoffs

Two weeks ago the Xana'Rams were in 8th place with a 5-6 record and prospects of repeating as champions were bleak.

But a 2-week win streak to end the regular season secured a berth in the playoffs as the 5th seed.

The defending champion Xana'Rams (7-6) will go for their second straight title against the 4th-seeded Flying Dutchmen, also 7-6.

The winner will face the Gunshow Poopholes who won the regular season title with a 10-2-1 record and earned a quarterfinal bye.

The Flying Dutchmen beat the Xana'Rams 62-44 in Week 4. Zeke Elliott scored 18 points for the FD's but has since been suspended.

The Xana'Rams will be without Rob Gronkowski after the high-scoring tight end went all derpy and received a suspension this week.

Asked about facing the Xana'Rams, Flying Dutchmen coach Hof Hofstra said "Michael Mother Tucker!" and stormed out of the room.

In the lower bracket, LionsEmptyTrophyCase earned the 2-seed and bye after going 8-4-1 and will play 3rd-seeded Skol Corby's Whiskey (8-4-1) or 6th-seed Evil Hots (6-6-1).

The Xana'Rams will try to become the NIAFL's first back-to-back champion since the California Bulls and California Bulls II pulled the double in 2006 and '07.

The Flying Dutchmen won the title in 2010 while taking 2nd in 2015 and 3rd in 2012 and 2016.

No word on whatever became of the 2011 champion Hallucinogenic Dildos.

Here are the final regular season standings and playoff pairings:

 

Trying to understand how it is that I have the same record as the second place team, beat them in our matchup, but I'm in third place in the standings?

Total points scored is the tie breaker, not head to head results?

 

Lost season for me in this league.

 

Yes, total points is the tiebreaker in most leagues I've been in. Head to head means very little.

 

Thanks. This is the only fantasy league I’m in so I’m going off leagues I was in years ago.

I coulda used that bye with my TE concussed.

 

Hey bitch that repeat champ was me! Before fate ordered me to change my team name.

 

I named my team the Righteous Colds one year just to be the anti Evil Hots. Those were the days.

 

SJ.COMVILLE -- Dak Prescott and Jonathan Stewart combined to score 47 points Sunday in the first round of the NIAFL playoffs.

The Xana'Rams own both players but kept them on the bench and therefore the prospects at beating Flying Dutchmen and defending their title appear grim.

At 4:20 in the p.m., the Xana'Rams lead 43-37 but the Dutchmen have a 73 percent chance to win based on remaining players.

More to come.

 

1st-lede write-thru

The Flying Dutchmen have dethroned the defending champion Xana'Rams. The final score will be determined tonight as the Dutchmen have one more player in action. As of now it's 62-55.

"Nathan Peterman would've made better personnel decisions than I did this week," Xana'Rams owner Xanabird Songdu said this morning. "Leaving 47 points on the bench is as idiotic as you get."

Songdu -- whose teams reached the previous 2 NIAFL championship weeks in baseball and football -- looked at the trophy in his avatar and vowed to win another one next year.

He wondered what could've been had he not botched the lineup this week.

"If I started Dak and Stewart," he said, "everything would've been different. That's how reality works in the fantasy world."

The 4th-seeded Flying Dutchmen (8-6) move on to play regular-season champion Gunshow Poopholes (10-2-1) in the semifinals.

3-seed Skol Corby's Whiskey (9-4-1) rot-gutted the 6th-seeded Evil Hots 84-62 to reach the semis where they'll battle No. 2 LionsEmptyTrophyCase (8-4-1).

The Xana'Rams (7-7) will battle the Evil Hots (6-7-1) in a consolation matchup this week.

 

Brady had his shit game last night. The Steelers and the Dutchmen will pay the price Sunday.