First date, post-divorce.

Books were the only things I kept from ex-girlfriends. Letters, cards, clothes - straight into the circular file.

 

You’re gonna need a medical encyclopedia soon. Or you might, you know, move onto something else.

 

I need you like a goddamn disease I can't name!
I need you like a case of anthrax, hear me?
Like trichinosis!
I need you like a biliary calculus, pellagra, encephalitis...
Bright's disease, for Christ's sake!
Carcinoma of the brain!

 

Naw, I'm enjoying myself. You're more than welcome to Ignore me.

 

No, shit no ... I’m starting to have to look some of these up.

 

Wait - I think I just realized that circular file means a trash can. As opposed to an actual circular file system.

I mean, I think I knew this, but 3OF helped me actually visualize it.

Ok. Ok then. Sorry, just felt a light bulb go off.

 

Vombatus-
I believe in 'editing' one's belongings at pathbreaking junctures in a life, such as a divorce or difficult breakup.
There is no point to me in keeping love letters from someone who is no longer in your life in that capacity.

 

Good point. My fiancé from years ago found some of mine when we were cleaning house. That started an argument exactly along the lines of what you are saying.

 

Taking her out in public tomorrow night for a fundraiser that I am speaking at.

She already sent me a pic of the little black dress for tomorrow. Yeah... people are going to talk.

Still having a great time together even though we've both seen at least one other person the last couple of weeks.

What brings us back together, I surmise, is that we both have bizarre (but similar) schedules, our custody schedules are oddly in sync.

Plus the Laz E Boy.

At my stage in life, a woman's potential as a mate also factors in when each of us has our children.

 

You whore.
And when you get up on stage tomorrow night, for your closing remarks, you take the microphone, ask your date to stand and say "Guess what? This little beauty right here.......I have plowed that better than John Deere."
Drop the mic.

 

I sure as fuck hope you are a speechwriter in real life, Chef the 2nd.