Even The Wolf likely can't clean up Harvey Weinstein's pending troubles

On Aziz, I get the feeling that this woman would have been willing to put out on a second date (especially if he put in a little effort to be a gentleman on the first date).

He knew all along there would be no second date, he just wanted to get laid. She knew that if she did put out, there would be no second date, and she was right.

 

But oral on the first? OK then.

 

Are you sure there wouldn't have been a second date?

He sent her a, "Nice meeting you last night" text the next day, I believe. Which is really weird, considering she left the place by saying, "You fuckers are all the same!" or something like that, according to the piece.

 

Sexual assault in what? A court of law? What God thinks?

I don't think a prosecutor is bringing charges on Ansari because they don't think they'd win a case, which, as we all know, is mostly what prosecutors think about.

 

A court of law, yes, civil or criminal. No, a prosecutor is almost certain not to bring this case. But set that aside for a moment. If we take her at her word, did he commit sexual assault? Donald Trump did, we decided. Sepp Blatter did when he was alleged to have grabbed Hope Solo's ass, at an awards function. Or at least AP wrote it that way, though it eventually softened it on subsequent updates.

I think people are having this instinctive reaction that when things are getting hot and heavy, generally, there should be something of a margin for error extended, for specific attempts at escalation. And I agree with that as a general principle.

I just don't think that's this story.

 

I'm not a woman, obviously, but what I keep seeing women say is that men don't appreciate just how much women are socialized to be people-pleasers and not make waves from a very early age.

 

When this *actually* happens to some man, I'll be sympathetic to this complaint. But not one person has been outed or shamed for "asking a girl out the wrong way" or "try to hold her hand if she doesn't want to yet."

 

Is that a response to my post? I'm not even talking about the parts where she clearly grants consent. I don't think she would even dispute that she consented to oral sex. But I think that, for example, when she explicitly moves his hand away five to seven times, he needed to let it be. Whether it makes sense to me, you, him, or the fence post is of no consequence.

 

I *think* just by trying to read the zeitgeist, the demographics of women that made Ansari's career would probably be able to stick with him if he came out with the right apology and stance toward the issue. Something along the lines of "this was very wrong, and I know that now, and we all need to work so that the next generation isn't socialized to think that this was a normal interaction."

It wouldn't get everyone on his side, but it would probably get enough.

 

It was a response to a question from a poster we all hope to god you have on ignore by now.

 

In time.

 

It just feels like very weird priorities to be worried about some hypothetical potential slight to a group of people when we are having to acknowledge the actual, worse problems inflicted on another group of people.