Things that make you feel old

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Had to order bifocals this past week from the optometrist.

 

Wait 'til you get "progressive" lenses.

 

Those, of course, are part of a *liberal* conspiracy.

 

Don't worry. I could blind, but still see right.

 

I can't play full court basketball anymore. That hurts as I love the sport.

The ability to run long distances is declining rapidly.

That Laz-E-Boy better not break.

 

The other day another guy about my age and I tried to explain to a 23-year-old why businesses have toll-free numbers. Then had to explain what a long distance call is (was?).

 

From what you've said on here, you've reached the point where instead of taking it easy on your kids, they'll be taking it easy on you on the court.

Full court? Hell, I was in a 3-on-3 game with my son during his Christmas break from college, and he was giving me a hard time about how bad I played. I told him, "let's see how well you do when you're 45 and playing against people in their mid-20s or younger ..."

The worst is when you hit the deck and everyone stops like it's a smart phone falling to ground, glass cover about to shatter.

"Are you all right, sir?"

"Yeah I'm fine, you damn whippersnappers. Now how about laying off the back cuts ..."

 

I fill in on 3-on-3 half court when my kid's team is short on players at practice.

I find that worse on the body. There really isn't running. Only twisted movements.

At least in the full court I should be able to "run those out".

Slowly accepting my physical fate.

 

I just started student teaching in a government class for high school seniors. All of them unless they were held back were born in 2000. I'm only 34 but it's only about to get worse. When I started covering sports I was 19 about to turn 20 covering kids who were only 2/3 years younger than me. These kids are 17/18 years younger than me and that gap will only rise. Am I too young for a mid-life crisis?

 

Wait until the kids you covered in high school retire after a long, illustrious pro career.

 

At least you're keeping up on the cardio.