I have a terrible confession to make

It me.

 

These things are not mutually exclusive.

 

I had no idea that @Azrael is Robert Caro. Sir, it's an honour.

 

Me too! Although the last time didn't go so well; the dude put too much ketchup on his fries and I spilled some on my shirt.

/tipyourwaitress.

 

Worst sharing-meal-with-strangers story ever ...

Spring of 1987, I cover the Alabama spring game (in Birmingham), file my story and then head east to go back home for my paternal grandmother's 80th birthday. Stop at a Japanese steakhouse on the way out of town. As I am all by my lonesome, I am seated between two strangers ... a very attractive young lady on my left, with whom I'd LOVE to make a a little conversation, and a drunk-and-getting-drunker housewife on my right, whose husband, to her right, keeps chatting me up. Ultimately I give up on the young lady to my left, as the husband will give me no peace.

The housewife has been pouring down the saki. They prep the little bean sprouts and shrimp and whatever appetizer, then begin serving it. The housewife's portion is plopped down on her plate, she looks at it ... and then promptly projectile vomits all over her food, the cooking surface, etc.

It was a long, long time before I went back to ANY Japanese steakhouse.

 

Woman just came into the coffee shop with a giant hyper dog. Asks the woman behind the counter if it's allowed inside the shop.

"No, I'm sorry. Only service dogs."

"He is a service dog."

There is nothing visibly disabled about this woman. If this giant hyper dog is a service dog, I'll eat @Dick Whitman's hat. I don't want this dog in here. I'm like, I'm going to get into a fight at my coffee shop. Great.

Woman behind the counter says, "If he has a coat on that says he's a service dog, he's allowed. Otherwise, no."

"Seriously?"

"Oh yeah. Seriously."

Woman leaves in a huff.

I like this place.

 

What's your position on emotional support little horses? Or potbellied pigs? Or a fucking peacock?

 

I’ll Need Your Café's Wi-Fi Password Because I’m Working on My Novel Today

 

17,131 words as of this morning. Had a 1,000-word day yesterday. Going to try to knock out 1,000 words today. Then I've met my weekly quota.

ON TUESDAY MOTHERFUCKERS.

 

Treat yourself to an extra latte.