Questions to the world (that even Siri couldn't answer).

Tell me why is it hard to make arrangements with yourself when you're old enough to repay, but young enough to sell?

 

How long until we stop saying phones "ring"?

Does anyone still have a phone with an actual bell inside it?

 

Why is it so hard for people to pay attention?

 

I confess.

Had my dog's teeth cleaned this morning ($300), on top of a heart echo ($400) last month to make sure he could withstand the anesthesia (he has a G4 murmer).

Vet calls to tell me he's awake and doing fine, but . . . there are three teeth that . . . $$$$$$$$$$ . . . and you may want to . . . $$$$$$$$$ . . . and bacteria could get in and . . . $$$$$$$$$$$ . . . and we could schedule this in a couple of weeks.

I stopped paying attention and still do not know exactly what I heard was wrong with those three teeth. The description above is how I remember it.

 

Actually, they do, but the kicker is that they are only binding for other community colleges (within the NJCAA). You can sign an LOI to a juco, but if a D-1 comes along later and offers you a scholarship, you can sign with them as well. A lot of kids do this to have a fallback if their academics are shaky and they think they might not qualify for the D-1.

 

What's the deal with airline food?

 

Does your dog eat too much shit?

 

Why does Fisher Price still make toy rotary phones?

 

EMP, bitches. EMP.

 

Is there a way to raise your hand in front of a Congressional committee that doesn't make you look guilty? Can you make a hand sign? A clenched fist? Raise your hand as if to say, "Present!?

 

Yeah, I signed one with a JUCO. Didn't have a ceremony or anything. My mom might have taken a picture. But it felt good to sign the paper because I knew that was two years of school paid for.

 

"This one's easy," says the Siri ...