Favorite Chain Restaurant

You brought back fond memories of Del Taco in Southern Cal. Beat the snot out of Taco Bell.

 

OK, I'm all in (and hungry af):

Best burger (fast food): Whataburger. Burger King is damn good, and the place smells good when you roll up. In-and-Out is OK, too.
Best burger (other): Steak n' Shake. Freddy's is tasty, but you can pick up the patty and literaly see through it.
Worst burger: It's hard to fuck up a burger. Five guys was vastly overrated (and vastly overpriced). Sonic has their lettuce too close to the onions, and I keep getting onion slivers mixed in (yuck). McDonald's is easy to eat, but often too salty (and the special sauce is awful), and if you ask for ketchup only, they think you want ketchup in place of mustard, in place of onions, in place of pickles ... you get the drift. Often looks like the movie "Carrie" when you're trying to drive.

Best taco: Taco trucks in the SoCal barrio. You can smell those fuckers for blocks.
Best taco (fast food): Del Taco. I'm better off finding a mom-and-pop joint for the rest.
Worst taco: Sorry, but Taco Bell gives me the shits every time I drive by one.

Best fries: Sheak n' Shake. 5***** ... Freddy's is similar -- thin and crunchy.
Worst fries: Wendy's. Hate the oversalted potato wedges. McDonald's when they're cold. They look like a 100-year old white guy's penis.

Best ice cream: Steak n' Shake and Freddy's put out real milkshakes. Wendy's chocolate Frosty -- take it home and freeze it and it's even better.
Worst ice cream: McDonald's shakes. The lack of the word "milk" was intentional. I had one about 40 years ago and I swear it's still inside me.

Best pizza: Hunt Bros. No lie, my favorite when they're hot and fresh at the mini-mart. Little Caesar's is tough to beat.
Worst pizza: Is still pretty damn good because it's pizza! Pizza Hut. It's the Taco Bell of pizza -- like it was made by white people.

Best chicken: Long John Silver's. I just like the planks there. Chick-fil-A has good nuggets. Wendy's had a good breaded chicken sandwich once. Little Caesar's has the best wings because they have barbecue (which Pizza Hut does not). Some places, such as Golden Corral, have bourbon street chicken, which is the best.
Worst chicken: I honestly haven't had real bad experiences with chicken, but I usually won't order chicken from anywhere but a chicken place unless it's wings.

Best doughnuts: Krispy Kreme. I like them glazed, nothing else. Once took the fam to the K when they had 12 hits (a promo for a few years was a dozen doughnuts if the Royals get 12 hits). We had four boxes of those sons of bitches. I stopped liking them for a while.
Worst doughnuts: Hurtz Donut. I seriously don't know how the hell you can fuck up a doughnut, but they put so much shit on theirs it no longer tastes like a doughnut.

Best steak: Dillons Grocery. You can get filet mignon on sale for $4.99, and KC strip for less than $8 (and get fuel points), and my wife is a damn fine cook. Longhorn Steakhouse is OK. Texas Roadhouse is good. But damn, you pay an arm and a leg for them at a restaurant.
Worst steak: Montana Mike's can be fatty at times (before they sold the restaurants). Sirloin Stockade can be a bit dry.

Best hoagie: The steak and cheddar at Subway is damn good. Firehouse is real good, but I rarely get to one (there's one a couple of miles east of the K). My favorite was Mr. Goodcents ... watch them cut the meat and the cheese. But the one near here ran out of ham and cheddar cheese both, and that's a knockout blow.
Worst hoagie: Who the fuck runs out of meat and cheese in the middle of the fucking day!? It's not like it was near a stadium after a big game!

Best seafood: I will occasionally eat a few fish sticks at home, and have eaten a piece of cod (rarely) at Long John Silver's, but that's it.
Worst seafood: Ugh. I wouldn't touch that shit with a 10-foot pole (see what I did there?) Allergic to shrimp.

 

Del Taco's fries are better than Del Taco's tacos.

 

I was quite excited when they opened one near me. Then I tried it. They make too many at a time, so the stock sits in the trays and gets stale. Their cake donuts end up as dry hunks of something. The only decent thing I got was a plain glazed. I don't need super-fancy concoctions, just a good, fresh donut.

 

Good call on Not Your Average Joe’s, but I’m pretty sure their footprint is limited. I’m surprised they have them in R.I.

Uno’s is alright, I suppose.

Cracker Barrel can be a zoo, but in a comforting way.

I’d love to see Cracker Barrel open a restaurant in Times Square, like Friday’s did, just to mess with everyone.

 

Chick-fil-A ... almost literally never had a bad experience there, food-wise or customer-service-wise.

 

I enjoy Chick-fil-A but there chicken breaking doesn't agree with me. I get wicked heartburn about 20 minutes after eating. Love the service, but they are always packed and I don't like waiting 20-30 minutes for something "quick."

I also enjoy Taco Bell. Good and cheap food.
We have a Moe's here and it's ok. I've had Chipolte and I don't get the love.

I should also throw in some love for Tim Horton's. Doughnuts and muffins are strong, and they have some great wrap and sandwich options. Plus, the best sweet tea I've ever had from any commercial restaurnat anywhere.

 

http://www.abuelos.com/locations/myrtle-beach-sc/
http://www.abuelos.com/menu/

 

I avoid chains while traveling unless it's something I don't have locally, which is how I got to try Golden Corral. (Damn ESPN for all the ads!)

Is there a chain with a salad bar besides Ruby Tuesday's? I tend to crave a bigger variety of vegetables than I buy at home. I'm not a fan of the rest of Ruby Tuesday's menu, and there are so many locally-owned options within walking distance I'm unlikely to drive out there. Not even with coupons.

 

If there was one chain I would like to show up in my area, it would probably be the Mellow Mushroom. Visited my first one in Charlottesville and loved it. Great wood-fired pizza.