Life imitates art: Melrose Place edition

Popular show. Bought Johnny Drama a house. Too bad the revival didn’t work out for him—Dean Cain really mucked things up!

 

In the revival, didn't they bring back Sydney only to kill her in the first episode? And didn't they also bring back Michael Mancini? Poor guy. He probably picked up the phone on the first ring.

 

Also, I am now wasting time on the Internet reading the Melrose Place credits on IMDB, and Grant Show turns 56 today. Christ. That makes me feel old. Not as old as the mugshots of Heather Locklear and Jamie Liner, but pretty fuckin' old anyway.

 

Melrose Place was a reminder of how in college if you watched All My Children in the lunch lounge area, there were tons of women to get to know; after college, if you were into Melrose and talked the talk, you could get invited to watch parties, regular visits to "just watch" Melrose, and discuss a common subject. Ask this question, were you more likely to strike up a conversation with a woman (1) talking about Doug being gay in Melrose or (2) LT's dominance off the edge? Sometimes you had to just fake it.

 

I actually learned a lot about life watching Melrose Place. I related to the characters who were out on their own, trying to find their place in the world, and learning how to manipulate people to my advantage.

How have we gotten to page six and not mentioned Daphne Zuniga?

 

Oh great, now I get this explained to me. Where was this advice back when I could've used it?

On the flip side, I can report that a fondness for Andy Griffith reruns earned no traction with the ladies.

 

Funny thing is that's how the show started, as an earnest look at 20-somethings making their way in the world. Didn't Jake try to get his GED in one episode? But nobody cared about that, so Spelling brought on Heather Locklear and pretty soon Marcia Cross was taking off her wig and showing her giant scar.

 

At least back in the day, people had to gather together to watch shows when they were on. Kids these days got it rough - hence, "Netflix and chill." Though maybe The Bachelor qualifies.

 

Then there was this:

 

I wasn't into Melrose that much, but 90210 was huge when I was in college. The dorm's lounge was filled with women when that show was on, especially with the episode where David's cowboy friend accidentally killed himself, which was standing room only. Funny thing was, I read a spoiler of that episode in a paper earlier that day, so it was kinda funny seeing all the nervous women thinking that Jason Priestley or Luke Perry were going to get bumped offed.

 

You knew Scott Gunkid was a dead man walking when he showed up in the TV Guide ad reading TONIGHT ONE OF THEIR OWN DIES. He was never one of their own. He was a nerd and nerds did not survive in the Aaron Spelling universe.