The dangers of the paper route

https://www.cjr.org/special_report/newspaper-carrier-shot.php

 

I had a morning paper route for several years. Used to love checking the box scores each morning before I loaded the stack of papers onto the spring rack on the back of my 10-speed. I got bitten by at least two dogs, chased by countless others, as this was back before lease laws when dogs were allowed to roam. One morning, a guy who lived next door to one of my customers was shot dead in his driveway and I came upon the scene just a minute after the first cop arrived. I was 11, and I don't remember being frightened about it or my parents saying anything about not wanting me out alone.

I loved being up early in the morning, when the dew was on the grass and few people were afoot. I still love that time of day and I'm sure it has a lot to do with my fond memories of being a paper boy. I learned a lot about responsibility, collecting money, and how to kick a dog in the teeth while pedaling furiously.

 

Always wanted to be a paper boy growing up in Iowa. Then Johnny Gosch happened when I was about 8 years old.

That's where that dream ended.

 

I tried four or five times to get a paper route when I was 12-14 years old. I never could land one. I had friends that ran routes and made decent change for a kid. I knew if I got a paper route, I would amass the greatest baseball card collection of any 12 year-old in history.

 

Funny story in "When Pride Still Mattered" about the kid who delivered the Milwaukee Journal to Vince Lombardi's home in the '60s. He'd collect once a month, and Mrs. Lombardi always answered the door and graciously gave him a tip. But one day, Vince answered, the poor kid just stood there tongue-tied, and Lombardi barked at him to state his business and be on his way.

 

Had a paper route for the Washington Post when I was 16. Loaded up at 1 a.m. at a gas station, was usually done by 4:30 or so. Good money for the time. Sunday papers were the worst because you had to deliver the inserts on Saturday afternoon and then come back to do the main route in the wee hours.

 

The paper in my hometown (where I started my career) folded 20 years ago. The anniversary of that just passed in March. On the FB group page for the city, from time to time there is a post about "who misses the paper?" There are always hundreds of responses, many of them from people who delivered it as a kid. I posted that it seems like there were more people delivering the paper than actually reading the paper.

 

My first wife had a route for awhile when she was taking college classes. She would get up at midnight and collect and deliver her papers and be back by 3. The killer was having to do it seven days. Late Saturday and Sunday was a pain.

Then when "can you occasionally help me on Saturday night?" became "why aren't you helping me?" I was done.

The hours were good for a student, but it just wasn't enough money to make it worth her and our while.

That said, when our paper was a p.m., delivery was a great job. Pick up papers at 1 and be done by 3 for most carriers.

 

Hmmmmmm.

 

I rode along in my grandpa's 5-speed Datsun in the early 90s when he'd deliver Florida Today. Seemed the worst part was the bagging of the papers.

I remember that's also the first time I heard the term "tennis elbow." He had it at some point flinging the papers through the passenger-side window with the right-handed Frisbee toss. So he would fling 'em with his left over the roof, lefty hook shot style. I was impressed.

Was also a prolific letter to the editor writer.