First date, post-divorce.

It's a really good question. Girlfriend / boyfriend feels like it implies something less committed than what we feel toward each other. When I was younger, and I'd say, "my girlfriend," it essentially meant, "you may not be seeing her next time we get together. so don't feel like you have to get too close." This? We've been inseparable for the last decade of our lives. I mean, I reworked my business, so I can work from another city more than half the time, in order to accommodate a good opportunity for her. Our finances are intermingled, we have three homes together, we are committed for the long-term and have planned our retirements together. We spend more time together than most husband-wives I know. Most people that get to know us without knowing we aren't married, assume that we're married. So what I was saying is that when it comes up (we don't introduce it a lot), we just go with it. Like where I am right now, we're in an apartment building where others know us at least casually. If I stop to talk to someone and they ask about my wife (because people assume), I don't go through the, "Oh we're not married. She's my long-term partner, because we both get freaked about marriage certificates for some reason." I just roll with talking about "my wife," to get through the conversation. The other situation I have hit which is weird is when I am talking about her to someone who doesn't know me well, and doesn't know her. If I say, "my partner," they immediately think I am gay and I am talking about a man. If I say, "my girlfriend," I feel like it implies something more casual, and I honestly want people to know that is not who she is to me. And she has hit that situation, too. So in a lot of situations like that, she just says, "my husband" or I'll say, "my wife." Our experience is that it just seems easier for a lot of people to understand.

 

What if I am the one in the relationship who wears the french maid costume?