Identity theft

At this point, you gotta look out for you. It's your life that can get ruined by stuff like this, not theirs. If you don't feel comfortable continuing to talk to them about it, let the police investigation play out. If you get the solid evidence that it was him, do what you feel you need to do.

 

No. You should talk about it however much you need to resolve it.

 

No, you must not ignore it and let it all go away quietly. Your mother should show equal concern for you, the victim in all of this.

The fact that she values her fake little family happiness over the fact you had your identity stolen by your brother, is pretty much bullshit. I'd shout it from the rooftops at ever family gathering for the rest of your life.

 

It can be difficult for parents to reconcile when their children, even as adults, do bad things. They feel as though it's a reflection on them: that they have failed in some significant way. Otherwise why would their child, someone they made and raised, make such an error in judgment? Sometimes it's easier to pretend the mistake never happened than to deal with the psychological fallout of the mistake. I suspect everyone is clinging to some tiny hope that the brother didn't do it.

 

I'll admit, I am hoping that too.

 

Her answer is "Well, I can't do anything about it. Complaining isn't going to fix anything."

But you guys know me. I'm a complainer. It's what I do.

I'm all alone on this one, even though I'm the one who was wronged.
If it was him, and again, I'm still hoping it wasn't because I'd hate to see his life ruined and I would feel somewhat guilty about it, he obviously didn't care about how it looked to the rest of us.

 

You have a valid reason to complain. Your instincts are spot-on here.

 

Any semi-decent human being would change their tune after realizing that mistake. I just have a low tolerance for people who act shitty, then ask questions later. Good on you if you were cool with how he rectified the situation. I would have done more if I were him.

 

Hinky means suspect or unreliable.

 

Hinky is a perfectly cromulent word.