Why Minorities Seem "Over-sensitive" about stereotypes and slights

Kelly Tran, one of the stars of the last Star Wars installment, wrote an excellent essay in the NYT today and stated:

Their words reinforced a narrative I had heard my whole life: that I was “other,” that I didn’t belong, that I wasn’t good enough, simply because I wasn’t like them. And that feeling, I realize now, was, and is, shame, a shame for the things that made me different, a shame for the culture from which I came from. And to me, the most disappointing thing was that I felt it at all.
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Kelly Marie Tran: I Won’t Be Marginalized by Online Harassment

If you want to know why (in others view) I appear "over-sensitive" about statements regarding Asians and other minorities. To me, what she writes is where it all originates. Try to imagine growing up and being socialized where you are always the "other", never part of the mainstream. Everything you read, watch and hear about, reinforces that message.

Because of the sacrifices by my grandparents and parents, I've been fortunate enough to pursue higher education and overcome that mindset and to them I am eternally grateful. However, I remain vigilant about this issue because I now many others are not as fortunate.

I thank Kelly Tran for raising the issue and sharing.

 

This, too. Click and read the entire thread:

 

People like to compare it to the Irish, Jews, Italians who have all had a tough time coming to this country in the beginning. But the thing they had was the white skin. They always had a chance to make a first impression on an even basis. All the things that go with being white was a great advantage to them in overcoming "Irish need not apply" etc.

I also have a question for people. When you hear of a crime being committed by a person of color, some may have that description stick in their mind, but when you hear of a crime by a white person, does the color of that person enter your mind. In other words someone might think "those black kids were caught selling pot" but if it was white kids it would be "those kids were caught selling pot". Part of that is maybe due to what is different from yourself sticks out and maybe it is not racist---we all do see color, and should. But if you associate crime with one group but ignore it in another, it is a bad way to think.
I hope I explained that clearly. (ha! yeah right)

 

It makes sense. Regarding your first point, you obviously aren't wrong about white skin being an advantage, but that view tends to lead to people being dismissive some minority groups. That is why I find it a little troubling and why you may have had people push back on the idea. I don't think you meant it to be dismissive at all. I'm just writing about what comes to my mind when I read what you wrote.

Is the experience of a Jewish white man the same as that of an African American man? Of course not. The same is true for people who are homosexual, or any other form of minority that isn't apparent at first glance. It's not the same thing. You are right about that first impression. As a Jewish man, I'm not getting profiled in that way. I'm not being judged by a stranger because they can't see what makes me different. Hell, I can even hide it from people as I get to know them if I want. That's the part that sticks with me. I still have something about me that some people think should be hidden. I can't say I like that idea.

Just because you can't see what makes someone different at first glance doesn't mean those people haven't also been socialized as the other. I have have been mistreated for my faith. In some cases, it was violent. In others, it was just somebody saying something incredibly ignorant. Sometimes they knew I was Jewish and didn't care or didn't realize it was offensive. In some cases, it was because they didn't know. I honestly don't care much these days, but I know my daughter faces that on occasion and that part of it really pisses me off.

Here's the thing. Her life would be a little bit easier if she wasn't Jewish, or even if she just hid that fact about herself from the world. I'm proud that it seems like she never considers hiding it, but mostly I'm sad that any of us would ever have to think we'd be better off without a certain part of ourselves.

Of course, my daughter also has to face the challenges that come with something that doesn't make her a minority because she is a woman. I'm not sure you can say women are treated as other, though I wouldn't argue if a woman wants to say that is exactly how they are treated, but they certainly have been and continue to be marginalized in many ways in our society.

Let me be clear. I'm not comparing my experience or my daughter's to Kelly Tran's. I've got plenty of advantages just by being white and male. I'm just saying, and this is odd to consider, that a majority of our society has been marginalized in one way or another and it is worth being aware of that fact.

 

I really agree with what you are saying. I do think that "brown" or asian folks have that little bi more disadvantage. Iloved what you said about you and your daughter. We need to keep knowing and learning how others go through life with these issues.

I really love this point..."That's the part that sticks with me. I still have something about me that some people think should be hidden. I can't say I like that idea". Have you seen Gentleman's Agreement ? Awesome movie with a scene that makes that point.

 

Thank you, lakefront. It's not an easy topic because for so many of us have been on both ends of it. We are marginalized in one situation, but we are the majority in others.

I've never seen the movie you mentioned. I looked it up. You're talking the one with Gregory Peck that was released in 1947? I'll have to check it out.

 

Thanks to meth and other drugs over the last 20 years, I think it's actually easier to spot people who be... problematic -- regardless of color.

By how a person carries himself or herself, they almost always transmit whether they have their shit together or not.

 

It isn't that people are oversensitive per se. Something like their ethnicity, or their faith, is naturally and understandably of interest to them if it is part and parcel of who they are, or to use the current parlance, they identify as this, or that.

It's just that it is difficult to talk about differences -- for any reason, or in any light -- without bringing up...differences. People can't help but notice them, and to pretend they don't exist usually isn't helpful either.

The problem is that there is a difference between recognizing differences, and USING differences for certain, usually negative or malevolently intended, ends. And this is where real trouble often begins. People become seemingly oversensitive because others make too much of a difference, rather than just recognizing it.

 

Star Wars fans are assholes.

They harassed poor Jake Lloyd, long before Twitter or Instagram were a thing.

And, while being an Asian-American may have it's own challenges, most of the stereotypes about Asian-Americans are positive.

Tran is the daughter of refugees, yet attended one of the best Universities in the country. That University, UCLA, has a student body that is greater than 30% Asian. The percentage of Asian students is larger than the percentage of white students.

And, I'm not sure the Asian immigrant experience of being embarrassed by your parents' accent, or the weird foods you eat at home (or, if not embarrassed by, at least being worried about what the reaction of your classmates might be) is any different than that of other immigrants.

 

Some Star Wars fans are definitely assholes. They tie up so much of their identities in that world that they become ridiculously overprotective of their ideal version of what it should be and that causes problems. I love the original movies, but they are just movies. I didn't take the prequels or anything done since as some sort of assault on my childhood.

Regarding the rest of your post, it seems like you are dismissing Tran's account of her life based on your own biases. That isn't surprising, but it is disappointing.

 

Why does this not surprise me? White conservative male pretending to know about the Asian American experience. Now describe for us the first time you were told to “go back to China” when you were 7, did that make your day?

Yes other immigrants were put upon too, no doubt. But don’t think life is great for us simply because we earned admission to a great school.

But Wait, “most stereotypes are positive”. That we are good in math? Submissive and don’t make waves? Great. That really helps the mathematicians, what about the other 90% of Asians who want to do something else? Does that stereotype help?

 

I'm not disputing, nor belittling, your experience, or Kelly Tran's.

But, here's the thing... kids, like Star Wars fans, are assholes.

And, so, they'll pick on the weakest among them, and they'll pick on the what a kid is most sensitive too.

For Tran, this might have been her Asian heritage, but the fat kid, the kid with glasses, the kid, with big ears, all face the same kind of treatment.

And, all sorts of kids are made to feel "other". The bookworm, the shy kid, the girl with big breasts, the girl with small breasts. The boy picked last in gym class feels as isolated as the daughter of Asian immigrants.

And, I don't know where you grew up, but I do know that you're a good bit older than Tran.

Tran did not grow up in a time or place where Asians were unusual. Her high school is currently 35% Asian.

Westview High School (San Diego) - Wikipedia

Being an Asian American in Southern California when she was growing up just wasn't a rarity.

I feel badly for her that she was bullied, as a child, or an adult, or that she grew up feeling badly about her heritage.

Childhood scars all kinds of kids, for all kinds of reasons.