Your Biggest Bender

I was talking to a guy the other night about divorce, which is what divorced people talk about mostly. He tells a story about how, when his marriage was falling apart, he said fuck it and went to a strip club that was less than... devoted to the letter of the law. He ended up having sex with four strippers (at the same time) while snorting club-supplied coke.

The final bill was $9,000. His divorce was soon finalized.

I have never done anything like that. I'm trying to think what my most extravagant night out was, and it was probably a really expensive meal with drinks with some friends. I don't think I've ever spent four figures on a single evening.

Part of me was aghast by this guy's one night of mania.

But part of me... kind of wants to do something like that before I die.

What's your biggest bender? And when you think about it, do you feel good or bad about yourself?

 

TBD.

 

Chef, play it safe, you only have nine toes left!

 

How many does one person need?
It doesn't make any sense.
1 brain. 2 eyes, 1 nose, 2 ears, 1 cock, 2 balls..........10 fingers and 10 toes.
WTF.

 

Coke and strippers? A $9,000 bar tab? That's the flailing of an amateur. A bender runs days, sometimes weeks. You find sunglasses in late September that you'd given up for lost back in June. Jk. Sort of.

I have never spent more than $400 in a night. I also don't like strip clubs and the like. Now yay-yoh...

I’ve stayed up for more than three days at a clip. And lemme tell ya, the come down and the soul crushing guilt almost make it not worth it. Almost.

Last weekend alone I was partying for like 48 hours straight. Still only spent like $300 for the whole weekend. Mainly bc I wasn’t eating...

But hey it was st. Patrick’s Day, so...

 

I was thinking the other night; it's been 25 years since I got shit-faced staggering drunk.

 

When I had big nights I would rather have crushed beers at a barbecue joint or in the backyard than a club.
Strippers weren't my thing- the under 10 times I've been in those joints I didn't feel at ease. Rather just keep a pub crawl moving.
I am voluntarily retired from the sport but could be coaxed out of the rest home to tear it up a few nights on one of the Greek isles, a bucket-list item.

 

After a softball game over 25 years ago, we went for pizza and beers, then shots, then got home and without knowing what I was doing I promptly puked on one side of the bed then the other (I was living by myself at the time in my own apartment). I'll never forget waking up and looking at both sides of the bed and wondering "WTF???"

 

Once upon a time I was in Toronto, and this one asshole was determined to make sure I died. I came close.

 

When I was in college, in the beginning and the end of the year, there would be these huge block parties, the kind that you see in movies.

One Saturday, I went to the party at noon, drank about a dozen cups of beer in five hours for free, went back to my dorm for dinner, changed clothes, went back out with friends to a house party around 7:30, spent $4 to get in, drank about another ten cups. Near the end of the party, I used to try to get a second cup and double fist, and this time, I succeeded. Left the party around 10:30, raced downtown to this bar that had $.50 drink specials for bottles until 11 and dollar bottles until midnight (this is 25 years ago). Paid my $1 cover charge, went in, bought three bottles at $1.50, drank them until 11:45, went and bought three more for $3, drank those until 12:45, then bought another four $2 bottles until closing at 2 a.m. After that, went to a friend’s after-party until 5 a.m., had another three bottles for free, then staggered back to my dorm rooms and passed out around 6 a.m.

Final tally:
22 cups of beer for $4
13 bottles of beer for $16.50.

Total: 35 beers for $20.50 in a 17-hour span. And no hangover.

 

If it's just beer, I could drink beer from sun up to sun down.
The first time someone throws a shot in there, I am FUCKED.

I (vaguely) remember going to a bar here one night and we started with beer, then I switched over to 3 Wisemen (Jim Beam, Johnnie Walker, Jack Daniels).
After the second one, I said to myself "Self.....this is not going to end well."
Tried to switch back to beer, then water......to no avail.
Woke up the next something with a wicked hangover.
Last time I got really drunk was this past weekend. .......started with Naturday's at the house around 3:00.....(The new Natty Beer that's not awful)......sis in law said she wasn't drinking that shit, so she goes and buys a case of Bud Light. Had 3 or 4 of those.....got to the bowling alley and they had 3.00 Corona's.......so I had 5 or 6 of those.........and for some inexplicable reason, decided to switch to Coors Original (the old yellow belly)......had 4 or 5 of those........left the bowling alley, went home, stayed up late with my future brother in law, had 5 or 6 more Bud Lights.......went to bed around something. No hangover, but was still drunk when I woke up around 9. Wife asked what me and bro in law stayed up so late talking about.....my response........."I HAVE NO IDEA."