Of course it's Florida

If you've ever flown into Fort Lauderdale, you can definitely understand the craziness aspect of this story.
Holy titties, there are some "unique" characters running around there.

 

Hello nightmares.

 

A man of his people.

Florida mayor opens fire at cops as they raid his home: sheriff

Probably wasn’t shot dead because of executive privilege.

 

Minutes after being released from jail, a Florida man was arrested in the jail's parking lot for breaking into cars - CNN

"The arresting officer said in the affidavit that when Lewis was approached, questioned and finally arrested he gave the officer a brown paper bag with items from a vehicle. The items included an iPhone 7, four packs of cigarettes, a lighter, one Visa bank debit card, a Florida driver's license and $547 in cash."

Lock your cars.

 

As one does.

 

I'll see your Downtrodden Spaghetti Derelict and raise you
Three Naked Women with a Rampaging Car and a Baseball Bat.

3 naked women at I-75 rest stop lead deputies on chase

 

Florida man attacked and killed by his cassowary, the ‘world’s most dangerous bird’

 

Beware the cassowary. Maybe it was the inspiration for Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky."

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

 

Gulfport man uses squirt gun to shoot his urine at a woman walking her dog, police say

 

Suspect Groped Fingerprint Technician

Hmmm. Nothing wrong that a quick and emphatic application of a police baton to the neck wouldn't solve right quick.