When's the Last Time You Were in an Actual Fight?

Parental enforcers! What a great job for ex-minor league hockey players. "Shut up or let's drop the gloves!"

 

I'm just sorry I missed the moment. I was too wrapped up in the game to see it. The idiot dad in question was the CFL's Mr. Irrelevant 1,000 years ago—the fucking CFL—cut by the BC Lions before he ever played a snap, and he thinks he's God's gift. His poor kid is a nice boy and a decent athlete who just wants to play footy with his friends, but his dad has unfulfilled dreams to live out. No one on our team is going pro in any sport. Just shut up and let them play.

 

Back in my kid's AYSO days, they used to give a couple of parents some lollipops. If other parents got out of hand yelling and screaming, they were supposed to hand them a lollipop. Kind of a universal sign to STFU.

 

Should have handed them pacifiers.

 

I am a believer in behavior contracts being distributed to parents before a season. It's sad it has to come to that.
What angered me more than the shitfits was in many cases parents' complete lack of knowledge on the rules of whatever sport was being played.
If you are going to spend an entire game bitching about umpiring/officiating, at least know your way around a rulebook. That goes for any fuckin fan.

 

Fun thread. It's been about eight years for me, the summer before my first kid was born. I was at a beach club when all hell broke loose. Apparently, a patron was talking shit to the bouncer because he was A) drunk, and B) had literally fucked the guy's mother the night before. Bouncer went to throw out the guy, who was about 6'2, 225, when he caught a sucker punch from one of the guy's four buddies. Bar staff starts to swarm in, but the four dudes are going apeshit, throwing chairs and haymakers. I happen to be sitting nearby as this was going on and I see the original instigator about to smash a chair over the back of the general manager, who happens to be my friend. That's when I sprang into it, came up behind the guy and threw him into a full nelson. I dragged his ass out of the brawl, told him he needed to calm down. He told me to go fuck myself, so I choked him near unconsciousness and he finally tapped. With him out of commission, the other guys scattered and left. I sat with him subdued until the police showed up. Drank free for the rest of the night.

I got into a lot of fights as a kid, but I never started them. Only lost one, but nothing worse than a bloody lip for it. my best fight was the night I absolutely wrecked three guys who were starting shit with a girl at my friend's house in college. I warned them to leave her alone and one guy reached out to grab me by the collar of my shirt. I threw an armlock on him before he knew what was happening. Dude 2 started to approach me, and I landed a perfect kick to his knee and dropped him where he stood. While still armlocking Dude 1, I punched Dude 3 twice in the face, then punched Dude 1 a couple times. Dude 3 tried to grab me from behind, so I stepped back and drove him hard into the wall, then elbowed him in the face. I threw Dude 1 down a flight of stairs to the front door (the house was a raised ranch) and then dragged Dude 3 down the stairs and threw him out the door. Dude 2 limped past with his hands up and said, "Dude, chill."

I've never been someone who looks to fight - most of the time I joke my way out of them, or if that isn't working, I try to act crazy enough that people think twice about it. But I do handle myself well, if necessary. I'd like to think my fighting days are over.

 

The name is Dalton.

 

Thought you'd be taller.

 

Thought you’d be bigger.
— Everyone

 

Dammit.

 

Does this even matter nowadays? With the prevalence of guns, doesn’t matter how you do with fists because ultimate sucker punch is always maybe there, some weak dude with a gun.

 

^^^^^

This. Assume EVERYBODY is armed and willing to put a bullet in you, even paranoid 76-year-old grandmothers with dementia.That's the reality of the world today.