I lost another friend

He is going to see a therapist in a week. God knows when he will see somebody who can give him meds. What can he do now?
There isn't a good mental health specialist that wouldn't suggest changes in behavior along with prescription treatment. And if those changes are effective, the difference in mood helps in diagnosis and lessen the need for meds.

 

This is brave to share and exactly right.

 

It's weird, talking of spectrums... I've never had the effect of depression where I lie in bed all day, or sleep insane amounts. It's always the opposite. I can't sleep. And you're right that it absolutely makes things worse. Good sleep is such a key component to good mental health. It's a warning sign for me when I can't sleep, and I always feel more capable of handling things when I do sleep. Pot helps there. When I was in the midst of my crisis in 2016, that's where the Lorazepam came in huge. I was awake for something like 120 hours—five days—and was really at the end of my tether when I went to the ER. I took half of one of those pills and slept for almost exactly 24 hours. At first I thought I'd slept for a few minutes. But I got out of bed and was already in much better shape to begin to tackle everything I needed to tackle. That sleep was the start of my getting out of things.

 

This is super powerful, right here.

 

Yes.

 

Thanks for sharing this.

What you did is what most people do. Eventually, things change, and people, essentially, heal themselves, albeit with whatever help they need along the way. The point is that an effort must be made, and the work done, and it is the doing, in fact, that turns people around. Because they realize that they can do it, they are not helpless, at least not forever, and that is strengthening, empowering and life-affirming. Going through it is exactly what makes you grow and change, usually for the better.

You might not realize any of this until later, when you've gained some perspective. But, as TyWebb said, you'll be amazed at how good life can be -- almost no matter your circumstances -- once you've done it, and you'll never look at life, or problems, the same way again.

 

Totally agree. I had my own moment on my own bridge, and I look back at that time and see a person I don't even recognize as myself. It's like looking at a stranger, like watching a TV show. It's a bizarre sensation, to feel so far removed from your own memories. But it's also a good feeling. It's really hard to explain.

 

We are pulling for you, @Smallpotatoes .

 

Thank you for checking in, thank you for being here and keep coming back. We appreciate you.

 

I'm actually sort of in the same situation my father was in when he was my age. After a long time at his company (He was an insurance underwriter) he was let go. He tried to catch on with another insurance company or so something similar but nothing panned out.

He worked a series of warehouse and light industrial jobs. That was the best he could do. He had two kids (me and one of my brothers) in college at the time. I'm single and don't have kids (I've probably missed my window on both) so I don't have to worry about taking care of anyone but myself, but that, to me, makes it disheartening to think that driving rental cars is the best I can do. I was probably too wrapped up in my job in the past and now that it's gone, I feel like I have nothing.

I also don't know how I can make up for decades of bad adulting in a few months.

It's just all too overwhelming now. The hole I have to dig myself out of is too deep. It may take the rest of my life to undo the damage. Do I want to be around for that?

FWIW, I interviewed for a substitute teaching job yesterday. Teaching English or social studies was something I thought about when I was laid off, but I thought it was best to sub as a way of testing the waters to see if it's really for me.

 

You can PM me if you want more info about teaching (I just made the switch and have done subbing and am in my first job) but getting your feet wet in a low-risk, no-expectation environment like subbing is smart. You can start to try out classroom management strategies, see if you can find your voice as a teacher and just see if you like kids.

The caveat is this: Subbing can be glorified babysitting sometimes and the kids will push because they know you don't have true power over them except to rat them out to their teacher/admin. Take nothing personally!!! If a kid is being an asshole, let the office deal with it. And remember, that asshole is just a kid.

That all said, students are so damn curious about new people. Some will want to know the weirdest things about you. Just roll with it and have a good laugh. Be flexible.

It is good to focus on something positive. It's good to have a reason to get out of bed everyday. As corny as it sounds, don't worry about tomorrow. Let tomorrow worry about itself. What are you doing today? Did you get up today? Check. Did you make your bed today? Check. Did you eat breakfast? Check. Did you go to work? Check. You only have to win today because you can't fight tomorrow until it gets here. If you don't win today? Try again tomorrow. I meant it when I said keep coming back and we appreciate you.

 

Typefitter-
I hear you on the herb.
Sometimes I'll smoke out late at night and watch Fawlty Towers and fold the family's clothes and feed my fish and the sun is just shining inside my head, and I think there's no way I can ever feel more untroubled ... until I wake up seven hours later.
The weed 'hangover' is a psychological one - instead of waking up feeling like hammered dogshit, there's a dismay that happiness can be so very fleeting.