Things that irk you......

I just read this in yet another news article: "The suspect fled on foot."

No he didn't. He ran away. No one talks like that except cops.

 

And when someone is involved in an accident, newspapers always say the injured "was transported" to a hospital.

"taken" couldn't be used?

 

Funny. The big thing I learned was that there are no "accidents" only crashes. Like there are no "murders" until charges are filed - they're all homocides.

 

We always laughed about "rushed to a nearby hospital."
Somebody would always say, "The injured person was casually taken to a hospital far far away."

 

Convenience fees.

I ordered tickets online to a minor league baseball game. I picked the seats, paid for parking, entered my payment information and printed the tickets yet was hit with a $6 convenience fee.

It was kinda inconvenient, waiting on the website to load, setting up an account and going across the house to get my wallet.

It would have been more convenient to buy them at the box office, where the team is actually paying someone to help me, but it was cheaper to get them online because of a discount, even with the fee.

 

When you're on the toilet in a decent place - university library, doctor's office, coffee shop - and the toilet paper won't roll out. Instead, it gets stopped up after like two sheets come dangling down to tantalize you, and you're in there with half your arm up the dispensing machine trying to get the god-damned roll of paper to ... you know, ROLL. Fuck, that pisses me off.

 

Oh, yeah, totally forgot Springsteen. I spent half my adult life in Jersey. Never understood what that was about.

 

That's why baby jesus invented socks.

 

This, among other totally legitimate reasons, is why I do my business in an approved home bowl. The home bowl may clog but it's familiar, comfortable and the TP is accessible.

 

A news outlet saying she team extends it's winning streak to two games. Technically it's true but for me I'm not talking streaks until three.

 

*its

 

Well shit