Got would?

Have been seeing sentences lately that read like this ... Jones would score 10 first-quarter points en route to a game-high 32 and Wilson High would beat Lincoln 45-43.

When did people start putting "would" in every sentence?

Excuse me if this has been covered before.

 

Been around as long as I have in this business, so at least 15-20 years. Always hear TV people say it, and I had a crusty old editor beat it out of me early on by saying, "Don't write that shit. That's TV-speak."

 

Seems to be particularly rampant in college sports info departments.

 

It's the dumbest writing habit anyone could have, in my opinion.

 

Won't anyone think of the sj.com legend that is RSW?

 

I developed it for a brief moment when I was starting out, but I was straightened out by a reader. Best reader phone call I ever received.

 

First thing I do when I receive stringer copy is go to find-and-replace and remove all the “woulds.”

 

Active voice.

 

Good opines. What continues to drive me batty is the continued and over-used use of "fall" or "falls" to describe a loss.

I rarely usually use profanity on sj.com but there are fucking clumsy teams all over this fucking country, I guess!

You win, lose or, possibly, tie. You don't fucking fall!

How much damn time in practice would it take up to get every member of the team coordinated enough that the entire group would, on cue, fucking fall!

Sorry. Carry on.

 

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

That's what I think about "would" in damn near any sports coverage. He "would" go on to drive in three runs? How about he drove in three runs and you stick the would up your ass?

 

My pet peeve: Stories that say "and City High was able to defeat Country High" or "City High went on to defeat Country High."

City High defeated Country High. Save some words.

 

Counterpoint: Those three skinny characters are pure gold when trying to write a one-column headline.