Got would?

Fuck you, Jeff Samardzija!

 

Lately my nemesis has been LSU running back Clyde Edwards-Helaire.

 

LOL!

 

I've got radio and SID friends I've tried to beat it out of 25 years. I've pointed it out. I've explained why it's bad. I get nowhere.

 

For the brief time we had weekly competitor, I'd take a red pen and circle all the "would"s in the sports stories. It's amazing how that word can become a crutch to an inexperienced writer who doesn't have anyone with enough experience working with him to tell him just how awfully it reads.

One week, there were 30 uses of it just on the front page of the section. It looked like I'd cut my finger and bled on the page.

 

And yet you persist. Clearly, you would not be denied.

 

Always thought "would" was wordy and used by mediocre writers trying to make themselves look better than they really were.

Agree with every point about "fall" -- generally not a good substitute for "lose," but it's a safety valve for those tight headline specs.

A phrase that bugs me is "Smith went down with an injury." Why not say he "left the game with an injury" or something similar? I recall many years telling and retelling a writer not to use the expression. Years later, after he'd moved on to another paper, I read one of his stories online and he was still using it.

In my final years on a sports desk, the headline name I probably dreaded most was "Antetokounmpo."

 

During this holiday season, we should all be thankful we never had to write the hed "Samardzija, Schnellenberger, Antetokounmpo lead Podunk to homecoming win."

 

Just call him "CEH." Maybe it will catch on.

 

Lest we forget the agate nightmare that is Mark Calcavecchia winning in a playoff.

 

Another word on my list is "different." When one writes "Brady was 22-of-32 passing for 305 yards and two touchdowns, completing passes to five different receivers." Do you need the "different" in there?