RIP Kobe Bryant

You thought it was over the top before......now with LAL first game tonight, and it's at home, and all of the 8 and 24 and Lower Merion 33 jerseys and the tributes and the tears and they'll take a shot clock violation with 24.8 and a backcourt violation at 8 and every 8th seat with get 8 yellow roses and every 24th seat will get 24 purple roses and every 33rd seat will get a 33 ounce beer for only $33.33 and LeBron will have Kobe shoes on and they'll exhume Jerry Buss and have him propped up like Bernie and even he will start crying formaldehyde tears and Jeannie will be attempting to cry, but after her 33rd plastic surgery, she's incapable of it, and Magic will be there and he'll say Kobe was the greatest Laker again and they'll all clap, and cry, and Phil will be there and he won't give a fuck, because he will be stoned to the bejeezus belt, and Rick Fox will be there, and SON OF A BITCH, MAKE IT STOP.

 

no 8-carat purple diamond rings?

 

Not tonight. That's what he gave the girl in Colorado. Among other things.

 

What's worse: Having to watch that shit, or watch a Neil Everett and Stan Verrett Sportscenter right after?

 

Welcome?

 

Thanks for the deep insight.

You late for school?

 

School jokes so orginal. Glad your comedian jokes are written by four year old. Save the insulting satisfaction for the big dogs I'm not impressed.

 

Coming in hot!

 

Punctuation, tense agreement, conjugation can be your friends.