President Trump: The NEW one and only politics thread

This has already come up, but it bears repeating. President Trump and his supporters were crying out in favor of protest and resistance when the issue was re-opening businesses, but now he wants to act as if he is all about law and order.

 

"LIBERATE MICHIGAN!" apparently only applied to a very specific set of circumstances ...

 

Stick taps to @garrow. This is harder than it looks.

'cause you know he's all about that base
'bout that base, they're trouble
he's all about that base
'bout that base, they're trouble
he's all about that base
'bout that base, they're trouble
he's all about that base
'bout that base,... base... base... base

Yeah, it's pretty clear, he ain't no size two
And he can shake it, shake it, shake the floor as he tends to do
'Cause he wants that big boom boom the soldier men make
His centaur stance keeps the right junk in all the right places

He sees the fake news workin' that Photoshop
He says that shit ain't real, come on now, make it stop
He's a very stable genius, just ask him, he knows!
He'll say his every inch is perfect from the bottom to the top

Yeah, he told us "don't worry 'bout the 'rona, it'll be gone in two weeks"
(Shoo wop wop, sha-ooh wop wop)
He said, "The 1% will get a little more booty to hold at night"
(That booty, uh, that booty booty)
He won't be no beefstick figure silicone G. I. Joe doll
(Shoo wop wop, sha-ooh wop wop)
So if that's what you're into, then go 'head and move along

'cause you know he's all about that base
'bout that base, they're trouble
he's all about that base
'bout that base, they're trouble
he's all about that base
'bout that base, they're trouble
He's all about that base
'Bout that base... Hey!

Just try to bring that booty back
Go 'head and tell them libtards that
He's not playing, he knows you think he's fat
But he's here to tell you...
Every inch of him is perfect from the bottom to the top

Yeah, he told us "don't worry 'bout the recession, it'll be gone in two weeks"
(Shoo wop wop, sha-ooh wop wop)
He said, "The 1% will get a little more booty to hold at night"
(That booty, uh, that booty booty)
He won't be no beefstick figure silicone G. I. Joe doll
(Shoo wop wop, sha-ooh wop wop)
So if that's what you're into, then go 'head and move along

'cause you know he's all about that base
'bout that base, they're trouble
he's all about that base
'bout that base, they're trouble
he's all about that base
'bout that base, they're trouble
he's all about that base
'bout that base...

'cause you know he's all about that base
'bout that base, they're trouble
he's all about that base
'bout that base, they're trouble
he's all about that base
'bout that base, they're trouble
he's all about that base
'bout that base...Hey

Hey!
Yeah yeah... ohh... You know he needs his base... Hey...

 

Only the best people.

 

Tweeter and the Monkey Man were hard up for cash
So Tweeter became president then the economy started to crash
Tweeter had a daughter he obsessed over, unlike Afghanistan
For reasons unexplained she loved the Monkey Man

Tweeter spoke to the Boy Scouts before a summit in Vietnam
And found out the hard way, nobody gives a damn
They knew that they found freedom just across the DMZ line
Been a tabloid fixture since '89

And the walls came down
All the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing
Never saw them when they fell

It was out inside the Beltway, Tweeter at the wheel
They colluded and stole, and their flunkies started to squeal
The FBI pulled up and said "Everyone of you is a liar
If you don't resign now it's gonna go down to the wire"

A tank rolled up, state-troopers close behind
Tweeter egged them on, a crazy, deluded mind
An effigy of the Kentucky governor tied up to a tree
Near the lemonade stand, by the old abandoned factory

 

And her arms are bare, just like Michelle's. Not the first time she's copied her.

 

I love Sarah cooper. She does this so well.

 

This joke actually works in multiple ways. Well done.

 

Voter fraud is bad! Bigly bad!

 

What is "when white people want to go to bars and get a haircut" Alex?

 

Still the feckless pussycat